Dear George,
The great empires of history fell because they rotted from within. Mainly, the problem was either decadence or a softness born of prosperity. It would be a crying shame if the American Empire fell because of a fanatical and narrow-minded obsession with statutory and common law. But I fear this may happen unless you rein some rabid prosecutors at the state and federal level. They are termites undermining the infrastructure that props up our nation.
One of the great tragedies of history has been the repositioning of corruption as a crime. The public has such a negative view of this dynamic they fail to see its strengths. First, it saves the taxpayers money. With a healthy system of graft in place, legislators and public servants can be paid coolie wages. But, corruption's greatest strength is its efficiency. Why should a lobbyist waste precious hours trying to convince a congressman to vote for a favorable piece of legislation when he can accomplish the same thing in a matter of minutes by cutting a check? Were lobbyists forced to waste time in mindless discussion and debate, the wheels of government would grind to a halt.
This whole question of indictment and corruption is symptomatic of a larger problem. Our forefathers believed we were a nation of laws and not of men. This served us well in a simpler time when we were an agrarian nation of yeomen farmers and time drifted aimlessly with the turn of the seasons. But now that we are a nation of consumers and time moves with the speed of a stock car powering out of the fourth turn at Daytona Beach, we must ask ourselves if we can afford a statutory and common law that moves at a pace better suited to an America that is no more.
You are emerging as a pioneer in a paradigm shift in the nature of the law. Using your absolute powers as a wartime commander in chief, you have begun the transition away from statutory law and towards a situational law as defined by you. Situational law adapts itself to the ever-changing world of moral relativism, taking on whatever form it must to maximize its efficiency. The law no longer decides between guilt and innocence; it defines guilt, thus sparing us the time and expense of lengthy trials.
It is your mission to protect Columbia from being ravaged by over zealous prosecutors. Declare Fitzgerald and his ilk guilty of high treason for their attempt to undermine the very structure of government. Strap them to a gurney, shoot some love juice into their veins, and you will have made a very powerful statement.
History is calling you, George. Like Solomon, you have become a lawgiver. Accept this mantle as it is laid across your shoulders. It suits your flatulent ego, which is always issuing forth. Let Libby walk, restore Abramoff to his former glory, and allow Congress to get back to business as usual.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
9:03:02 PM 
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