Dear George,
Pay attention! I’ve got an important hot flash, here! For the first time in history, America is a one-party country. Granted, this party has two wings that present themselves under different names, but at the end of the day, they’re one and the same.
Once again, the Democrats have refused to be an opposition party and have folded their tents in the face of the Alito nomination. The truth is they love you George; they love what you’re doing to this country. They’re going to stand there with their thumbs up their ideological asses and let you put America into a sharp right turn.
Tonight, before you go to bed, I want you to drop on your knees and thank God that your administration is unhampered by anything that resembles an opposition party. Take a minute and contemplate the horror that might have been.
An opposition party would have fought you tooth and nail on the Alito nomination. They would have staged the mother of all filibusters and forced your minions to use the nuclear option. You would have won in the end but it would have been a Pyrrhic victory, one that would have left your administration bloodied and weak, because they would have used your nuclear option to paint you as the autocratic assholes that you are. This is how an opposition party energizes its base, by standing for something and being willing to fight the good fight when it is necessary, not by whining and wringing their hands and expressing disappointment that Alito didn’t generate more opposition. Of course, he didn’t generate any opposition because the democrats were unwilling to stir any up. They hate to appear uncooperative.
Besides, putting up a fight would have brought back the horrors of a two-party system with all of its messy partisanship and its endless discussion and debate. It’s better this way. Everyone gets along in a collegial orgy of mutual masturbation while you keep the ship of state steady on its starboard tack.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
9:18:08 PM 
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