Dear George,
Got a hot flash here, big guy! Get Karl the hell out to Pierre, South Dakota and have him lean on their governor, Mike Rounds. The yokels out there have passed a bill outlawing abortion in the hopes the Supreme Court let it stand. Have Karl impress on Rounds, in the strongest possible terms that he has to veto the bill. The last thing you can afford is to have Roe v. Wade overturned. It would be the end of you. Abortion is the flag around which you have rallied the troops you’ve been screwing with your policies.
Let me tell you what’s going to happen if Roe is overturned. All those good people in Kansas who have been tearing up the scenery over Roe are going to go home, take a deep breath and look around them. They’re going to see a kitchen floor missing tiles they have neither the time nor the money to fix. They’re going to look out a window and see a rusted-out car on cinder blocks because they can’t afford to replace the fuel pump that broke last year. They’re going to listen to the baby’s croupy cough and pray her fever breaks soon because they’re too far in debt to afford a trip to the ER.
Then they’ll realize that between 2000 and 2004, while they were drumming up support for your election and reelection and fighting their hearts out to overturn Roe v. Wade their median net worth dropped to $7,500 while the net worth of the richest ten percent of the country rose four percent to $924,000. They’ll realize the only way they can hope to keep their house is to take out an interest-only mortgage, knowing they won’t be able to afford the payments when the principle comes due.
Then they will turn on the television and hear your soaring rhetoric about America bringing freedom to the world. And they will realize that your rhetoric is nothing more than a pile of dried dung.
Then they will turn on you.
And don’t count on Intelligent Design, school prayer or the Ten Commandments to bail you out. Abortion is large ferry pulling into a slip, its turbulence pulling Intelligent Design, school prayer and the commandments in behind it like so much flotsam. Once the engine is shut off, the flotsam will sink out of sight.
Now you know, and I know, that when Rounds vetoes that bill, the good citizens of South Dakota are going to run him out of office. Not a problem. South Dakota pays its governor chump change, so have Karl promise him a cozy K Street sinecure where he’ll make five times more than he’s making now.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
9:15:07 PM 
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