Dear George,
The Democratic Party is to politics as Dick Cheney is to quail hunting; neither can hit a target. I was thrilled to see that Ohio democrats forced Paul Hackett out of the Senate race so they could run a centrist hack they think is more electable. The one thing they fear is a candidate whose charisma fires up the public. This is why they spiked Dean.
The Democrats are behind you 100 percent in your effort to return our country to a golden age of graft and corruption. You have brought them to the mountaintop and God has handed them a new tablet that reads, “Greed is passé; venality is good.”
The Democratic Party has so many gooney birds hanging around its neck it could start its own bird sanctuary. They are mired in a past that is more a creation of their limited intellects than of reality. Goaded by the Democratic Leadership Conference, they have a delusional idea of what it takes to win an election. Here are some examples of their love for political suicide:
- They believe that your 2000 loss represented a swing to the right, when in fact you should have buried Gore in a landslide. Al “Who-Do-You-Want-be-To-Be-Today” Gore ran a terrible campaign in which he was unable to articulate anything save a sadly transparent image, while you were sincere in your projection of a false one. This proves the old political adage that a phony image will trump an absent image every time. The fact that he won shows how sadly lacking in appeal you are.
- They feel the same way about the so-called Republican Revolution of 1994, forgetting that the Democrats, having been in power for fifty years had proven Acton’s dictum that power corrupts. The country was not voting for The Contract with America, they were voting against the arrogance and corruption that comes from habitual power. This is the position you and the Republicans find yourself in today.
- The Democrats are still locked in the Cold War mentality of a bi-partisan foreign policy and have not figured out that you have turned foreign policy into a partisan playground.
- They believe the key to Republican power is nastiness as exemplified by the rabid prosecuting attorneys who are Amerika’s new vicars of oppression. Hence, they are afraid of being seen as soft on anything. They miss the fact that the country is crying for decency and integrity.
An impotent Democratic Party insures your continued power. After all, who could possibly oppose you? The second the Democrats see anything that resembles an effective candidate, they shoo him off the stage. They are so afraid of appearing partisan that they censure themselves with a vigor that would make any dictator proud. They dismiss those Democrats who do speak out as irresponsible firebrands. They don't understand that if your administration epitomizes responsibility, then irresponsibility has become a moral obligation.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
8:47:36 PM 
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