Open Letters to George W. Bush
Letters to the president from his ardent admirer Belacqua Jones
Last updated:
6/4/2006; 8:55:16 PM


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Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Dear George,

 

In your effort to shrink the federal government, I am glad to see that you are not giving the states too much power.  Your goal is to shrink government, not corruption. For example, many states feel that the federal food safety standards are a little too wimpy for their tastes, so they have passed standards that are more stringent than the federal standards.  Of course, industry treats any safety standard like a dose of the clap, so they have prevailed on their Congressional employees to float a bill that negates any state food safety standard that is stricter than the federal standard. 

 

The bill is being pushed by the National Uniformity for Food Standards Coalition, a nonpartisan group made up of trade associations, supermarkets and food manufacturers.  As a spokesman for the group explains it, “The citizens of all states deserve the same level of food safety.”  He goes on to point out the absurdity of a food that is safe in one state being unsafe in another.  His solution is to make food equally unsafe in all the states.

 

I thank God for our corporate media. The New York Times buried this story on page A14.  The last thing we need is a bunch of young mothers getting their knickers in a knot because the standards for baby food are being brought down to a manageable level.

 

Your admirer,

Belacqua Jones


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