Dear George,
I knew Karl was brilliant, but he’s really outdone himself this time. He realized that the midterms were a disaster waiting to happen. Your popularity had shrunk to where it was little more than a gleam in a wing nut’s eye. The Democrats, despite their ineptitude, stood a chance of taking both houses.
Karl knew the only way the GOP would keep control of Congress was to run against you. He had to create space between the Republican candidates and you. In previous campaigns, he turned his opponent’s strength into a weakness. Now he had to turn your weakness into a strength.
So he engineered the Dubai port deal. It was brilliant in its simplicity. Dangle a string of Arab-controlled ports in front of the public, have a GOP Congress rise up and say, “No way!” and you score two points: Republicans secure their position as the party of national security, and they distance themselves from you. He knew that by keeping you in the dark about the deal you could be counted on to do something stupid like threatening to veto any legislation against the deal. Meanwhile, the Democrats muttered and mumbled, as they were lost in the dust created by rampaging Republicans.
Once the Republicans had reclaimed the postposition, Dubai conveniently opted out of the deal, sort of. Well, that’s what the headlines said, even though it’s a little ambiguous, but who cares because all people read are the headlines. In any case, the Republicans are back and running strong.
It’s a pity bullshit artists can’t be canonized. St. Karl of the Rove has such a nice ring to it.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
10:19:15 PM 
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