Dear George,
I see our boys hit a triple this time out. They managed to snuff three generations of an Iraqi family utilizing what a Pentagon spokesman called, “air and ground assets.” (God, it tilitates my follicles every time slaughter is reduced to an exercise in double-entry accounting.)
We nailed a family of eleven people ranging from a 75-year-old grandmother to a six-month old infant. All of this was in pursuit of one suspected terrorist whom we captured, so everything evened out.
The dead included some children. This means the knee-jerks will start whining about how terrible it is that we are killing the young who haven’t a clue what this is all about. Give me a break! Don’t these bleeding hearts know we’re at war? Do they really believe that a six-month-old Iraqi wouldn’t pack its Pampers with explosives and start crawling towards the nearest checkpoint?
To those wimps I say this: The blood of the shrapnelled child is the Blood of the Lamb that takest away the sins of the world to the greater glory of capitalism and the Golden Arches. Let’s get real! Iraq is a mall waiting to happen, and every farmhouse we level creates more land for its construction.
But why do I get myself worked up? The truth is there ain’t nobody going to say nothing about this. America’s gotten her balls back! Do you want proof? Check this out. The FCC fined CBS big time for flashing Janice Jackson’s nipple. But not a penny in fines has been levied for showing a man being tortured on 24. Isn’t it great being an American?
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
9:37:00 PM 
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