Dear George,
Do you know what makes America’s elites elite? It’s a banal innocence grounded in a purity of experience that is untouched by reality. This is why the children of the elite must be raised in a sterile clean room from which all impurities have been scrubbed. Let me tell you a heartwarming story of how a group of parents rallied to protect this innocence.
In Rhode Island, a woman of mixed Black/Hispanic heritage was named principal of an elite all-White school. Shortly after her appointment, an all-White mother told her she was pulling her all-White son out of the all-White school because she was afraid a Black principal would attract Black students to the school. It spoke well of the mother that she excluded the assistant principle from the run-of-the-mill Black riff-raff because, “you’re one of the educated ones.”
Some would call this liberal mother a racist. They err. This mother was simply doing her part to insure American hegemony into the twenty-first century. The elite of this country have but one function, and that is the care and feeding of the corporatist state. The corporatist state draws its sustenance from the destruction of community. Since diversity characterizes community, it follows, ergo propter hoc, diversity is a no-no. The mother was simply worried that if her son associated with children who were “different” it could undercut his efficiency as a future secretary of state. It’s all about the Wonder Bread, George.
I am happy to report that this administrator finally overstepped herself when she introduced an after school program to teach the children ballroom dancing. One of the dances she wanted to teach was the Salsa.
The Salsa, George! Do you know what it means? Oh, it starts outs innocently enough with a simple Latin beat, but before you know it the children are engaging in group sex and unregulated buggery! What’s even worse is that the dance originated in Venezuela, the home of that leftist Chavez. The woman was trying to subvert the children by exposing them to a Hispanic Commie culture. Let me tell you, those parents rose up as one and drove her out before their children started hiding bottles of cheap rum and Che Guevara tee shirts in their book bags. I will give her credit for one thing, she fed into the dynamic that gives the gated community its strength, paranoia.
Goddamn it, this school is training America’s future policy makers. Policy requires a delicate balance between innocence and articulate stupidity. How dare any school administrator threaten our children’s ignorance? Especially the ignorance of the children of the elite who are America’s future.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
9:24:55 PM 
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