Dear George,
The public does not appreciate how poetic the Pentagon can be. There are times its language sings with the discordant splump of a speeding turd hitting a bass drum. Just the other night I was pouring over the Pentagon’s Nuclear Posture Review when I stumbled across the following:
The need is clear for a revitalized nuclear weapons complex that will be able, if directed, to design, develop, manufacture and certify new warheads in response to new national requirements, and maintain readiness to resume underground testing if required.
How my heart soared! How the words twist and tumble as they elude meaning. Look at how it promises a nostalgic return to the glory days of the 1950s Cold War with its allusion to underground testing in Nevada, not far from where the government wants to store 77 thousand tons of radioactive waste. Truly, Las Vegas will be a glowing light unto the world. Your poets have gone beyond extreme sport and have given us extreme living.
But over and above everything else, this document is a poetic sonnet to the glories of pork. Nuclear weapons are to the military-industrial complex what crack is to an addict. Check this out! At the height of the Cold War, spending on nuclear weapons averaged $4.2 billion a year (in today’s dollars). With the implementation of the Nuclear Posture Review, it is expected that this amount will increase to $7.76 billion a year (excluding overrides) by 2009.
Yes, George, the Rapture will surely arrive when mushroom clouds sprout across the face of the Earth and Christ returns to establish his dominion over the smoldering ruins.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
9:19:33 PM 
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