Dear George,
You are the Fred Astaire of bullshit, Iraq is your ballroom, and Condi is your Ginger. How the band changes its tune! First, there was the WMD tango, then the al Qaeda waltz, the democracy two-step, now as Iraq spirals downward into civil war, the band once again changes tempo, and we tell the world we attacked Iraq because the Middle East hates us.
How sweetly Condi sang as she said in an interview on Meet the Press, “If you really believe that the only thing that happened on 9/11 was people flew airplanes into buildings, I think you have a very narrow view of what we faced on 9/11. We faced the outcome of an ideology of hatred throughout the Middle East that had to be dealt with. Saddam Hussein was a part of that old Middle East. The new Iraq ill be a part of the new Middle East, and we will all be safer.”
It’s a familiar song she sang, one we learned in the eighth-grade whenever a fight erupted between two boys. After breaking it up, the teacher would ask why they were fighting, and one of the boys would say, “Because he looked at me!” So it goes right on into adulthood.
Yes, America is going to reengineer the Middle East. We are going to create a Middle East that loves us, no matter how much ass we have to kick in the process. I am glad to see social engineering making a comeback. It got some bad press after Hitler and Stalin messed with it, and I think it’s long overdue for rehabilitation. Under our guidance, we will transform the people of Middle East into touchy-feely flower children beaming their love across the face of the earth. Of course, we will need a final solution for those who don’t feel the love, but we can leave that to the detail people.
At the same time, we are going to strike another blow against the shackles of international law. For too long America has been hamstrung by a UN Charter that outlaws aggressive war unless authorized by the United Nations. As the world’s sole badass super power, we have the right to take out any son of a bitch who looks at us wrong. That’s what power is all about; that’s what Iraq is all about.
There will be the naysayers who will claim that the Middle East really hate us since the invasion. To them, you need only point out how Lenin and Stalin changed the face of Russia in the face of stiff opposition. Social engineering makes all things possible. Firmness of resolve and a liberal application of mineral oil make it possible to screw anything, no matter how dry the hole. This is the secret of successful social engineering.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
9:13:39 PM 
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