Open Letters to George W. Bush
Letters to the president from his ardent admirer Belacqua Jones
Last updated:
6/4/2006; 8:57:07 PM


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Thursday, April 06, 2006

Dear George,

 

Today I am draped in widow’s weeds as I mourn the martyrdom of St. Thomas De Lay.  I have rent my garments and rubbed ashes into my hair and beard.  I will neither bathe nor change my clothing until I witness St. Thomas’s bodily ascension into heaven where he will sitteth on the right hand of God the father almighty until he comes again to judge the graft and the pork.  

 

Just as Jesus drove the moneychangers from the temple so the wealthy must twist their money belts into scourges and drive the secularists and postmodernists from the halls of justice, into the public square where, as Leviticus commands, they shall be merrily stoned.  Then, and only then, will we establish the American theocratic state under a banner that proclaims, “All Glory and Graft to St. Thomas De Lay.”

 

Your admirer,

Belacqua Jones

 


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Last update: 6/4/2006; 8:57:07 PM.
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