Dear George,
It’s time to play hardball! Scooter’s claim that you authorized the leaking of classified information can play right into your hands if you field the ball right. Here is another opportunity to expand the unitary power of the executive.
Before I explain how, let’s pause for a minute and look at all the things working in your favor. You have conned the public into believing that we are at war, and I’m not talking about Iraq. That’s not war; it’s the self-destruction of a nation that was never really a nation. The war you’ve foisted on the public is your Global War on Terror, known in your inner circle as the Eternal War of the Empty Policy.
Terrorism has replaced Communism as the buzzword that justifies all folly. You have brought to fruition the union of foreign policy and fantasy that began with the Cold War. Your genius is in taking a criminal activity and elevated it to the level of the Antichrist. In doing so you have transformed our foreign policy from one based on self-interest to one based on theology. This has magnified our sense of hubris and exceptionalism to the point of self-destruction. This, of course, is your ultimate goal, for once America collapses under the weight of a foreign policy that bears a striking resemblance to mental illness, the way will be prepared for a corporatist state to rise up from the ashes.
Which brings me back to Scooter. Your best approach is to say “Hell yes! I authorized it! Deal with it!” Go on to explain that as commander-in-chief it is your right, both legal and divine, to use whatever tools your have at hand to pursue your faux war. If anyone threatens its execution, as Joseph Wilson did, then you have an inherent right to destroy them. If some son of a bitch objects to this, destroy him as well.
The Great Neocon Wet Dream is your puppy, and like a bitch dog, you’ll tear a new asshole in anything that threatens it. Besides, the public accepts your illegality, for as the vox Dei, you transcend earthly law. Remember, there’s no such thing as evil in a Crusade.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
8:52:33 PM 
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