Dear George,
You are my dream come true! I knew I could count on you to come up with something in time for the midterms. I will admit, I was starting to get a little worried, but I should have known better.
Given the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, it makes perfect sense. What else could you do? With Iraq so fucked up, you needed to try again in Iran to learn from your mistakes. It’s like a mulligan in golf.
Not only are you planning a preemptive strike against Iran’s nuclear facilities, but you’re all set to break the nuclear ice by dropping a few nuclearized bunker busters on them. I say, it’s about time someone went nuclear. We’ve been dancing around this issue for too long. Here we are, with all that capital tied up in nuclear weapons and we’re not getting any return on our investment. Once people see that dropping one or two nuclear devices isn’t the end of the world, it will easier to use them in the future. Only a leader of your reckless abandon would dare be the first.
Your timing is delicious; it’s just in time for the midterms. Who would vote against a GOP candidate, no matter how corrupt, with the Global War on Terror entering a new phase? Who would dare speak of impeachment with this new threat on the horizon? The party that is willing to go nuclear is the party that will protect America from terrorism.
Of course, an important component of any trial balloon is the denial that there is a trial balloon. Once again, your Pentagon pros have proved themselves masters of the conniving denial. Give diplomacy a chance, they all say. Your military commanders say military options range from, “bad to unimaginable.” This is true, but a similar prognosis didn’t keep us from invading Iraq.
Bomb them into submission, George. Prove to the world a victory through bombing will continue its unbroken record of failure, thus necessitating an invasion by ground troops and the further enrichment of the military-industrial complex. Desensitize the public to an ongoing state of war and unitary executive power is yours for as long as you want it.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
8:49:26 PM 
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