Dear George,
So those ingrates the Middle East are putting the brakes on the democratic bandwagon that was starting to pick up some momentum. It seems the chaos in Iraq and the muscle being flexed by the Shiites has frightened leaders in the area, so they figure that since you are a lame duck president, all they have to do is stall until you leave office.
George, it’s time to take off the goddamn gloves! We have a real simple proposition here: Democracy is a covenant with God; God thinks Shiites suck; there ain’t no way in hell he’s going to let them gain the ascendancy. We’re not talking politics; we’re talking theology.
Natives have always been problematic. Look at the struggle the early Christian missionaries faced. The truth is that it takes a little hardball to help natives see where their self-interest lies. The missionaries found that the stake was an efficient instrument of promulgation. Nothing makes a native snap to and pay attention faster than seeing a family member torched.
We are too civilized a people for such barbaric practices. However, we have a moral obligation to use the most efficient tools at our disposal to spread freedom to the world. The truth is nothing spells democracy like a mushroom cloud. If the Shiites want martyrdom, we’ll give it to them, big time.
We want more than just democracy. We want American democracy in which responsible parties compete responsibly by shoring up the fundamental Neocon freedoms that have made America what it is to day.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
8:48:11 PM 
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