Dear George,
The driving dynamic of your administration is bile, that nagging ache in the gut that can only be relieved by exploiting somebody. This requires a constant turnover of victims since it becomes tiresome exploiting the same people for too long. Kicking terrorists’ butt wasn’t going anywhere since we weren’t kicking any, and Iraq is so fucked up you are wise not to draw too much attention to it. Illegal immigrants are your salvation.
Illegal immigrants are proving to be real bile boosters. Didn’t you just love the reaction to the Spanishfied version of our Star Spangled Banner? That’s what America is all about. If you can’s say “freedom” in English, you don’t deserve it. The same holds true of “due process.” How could you expect a dirt-poor, illiterate immigrant who’s never seen the inside of a courtroom to understand the subtitles and nuances of due process? It just ain’t going to happen. Save it for the people who can appreciate it.
We must forever put to rest that quaint notion that freedom is an inalienable right that is a gift to all of humanity from God. To this I say, au contraire. Freedom is the product of well-defined rules and regulations to which an alien is entitled to submit to once he’s filled out the proper forms, passed the background check, is fluent in English, and is certified free by the proper authorities. He will remain free as long as he keeps his nose clean. On misstep and he is out of here on his ass.
Now all you have to do is figure out how to direct some immigrant-inspired bile towards Iran.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
8:52:29 PM 
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