Open Letters to George W. Bush
Letters to the president from his ardent admirer Belacqua Jones
Last updated:
3/1/2007; 4:58:06 AM


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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Dear George,

 

Leadership is a dynamic that is in a constant state of evolution, as are the skills the effective leader needs to insure order and control.  At various points in history, leaders have needed brutality, religious fervor, or high idealism; they have had to be either inspired or cold and calculating, or some combination of the two.

 

Today, the man who would lead us into an era of Pax Americana needs but one quality:  he must be a pathological liar, able to tell the most outrageous whopper with a straight face and an absolute conviction that gives the lie a certainty once reserved for truth. 

 

In short, today’s leader must live in a fantasy world, a bubble of make-believe, made possible because of a media that is more cheerleader than critic.  With this combination, fantasy not only becomes real, it is real! 

 

However, I must admit that while you’re good, the Big Dick is the consummate pathological liar.  I have no doubt he could go on a Sunday talky, declare the insurgency defeated, and a good slice of the public would believe him. 

 

You and he are the Abbott and Costello of bullshit.  Armies may fire missiles, but great leaders fire turds.  Thanks to you, the pathological liar is no longer an outcast:  he is a world leader.

 

Your admirer,

Belacqua Jones


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