Friday, March 09, 2007

Dear George,   I have some good news!  Should you decide to leave office in 2008, I have your replacement.  New Jersey’s own David Wells is running for Emperor of the United States.   But the real buzz about his campaign is his ticket.  David is running on the Looney Party platform, a platform that promises to return honesty and transparency to government by its open endorsement of graft, corruption, and cronyism.  Its goal is to make the stench of political sleaze smell like Chanel No. 5.    Think about it, George!  What good is an empire without an emperor?  David is offering us a chance to put an end to all of the nonsense about a democratic republic.   He is promising prime patronage plums to his early supporters.  I’ve already snapped up the ambassadorship to Monaco.  This is a reward for my efforts to register voters in Monmouth County’s cemeteries.  Hell, George, the dead have rights like everybody else.   There are still plenty of plums available, so the public can sign up for David’s campaign at http://home.att.net/%7Ewellsbrothers/DavesFaves.html.      However, should you decide you want to be emperor, all bets are off.   Your admirer, Belacqua Jones 4:55:01 AM    comment []

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