Dear George,
Your Neocons look to Rome for their inspiration. They worship her memory and all that she stood for. In the stability that was Pax Romana, they see a Pax Americana with America’s legions spreading the American Way over the face of the earth.
There are many reasons for their worship, but primarily it is their conviction that the Romans all spoke BBC English and carried themselves with dignity and gravitas.
The truth is that the Romans were loutish barbarians who excelled only in the gross and fine motor skills that made them adept at playing with building blocks and tinker toys.
Formality and dignity, hell! More often than not sessions of the Roman Senate ended in bloody brawls with the good senators throwing punch at each other. Either that or they had their hired thugs beat the shit out of their opponents. Among the victims of political beating were Cato, Cicero and Pompey.
There never was a Pax Romana. Their legions were constantly putting down insurrections. One of the Roman’s more popular psych-ops was the crucifixion, that delightful little empire builder that kept a healthy man hanging around for seventy-two hours before he died. When they took a city, they slaughtered the men and enslaved the women and children. Then they leveled it.
There are certain similarities between Rome and America. We, too, like reducing enemy cities and neighborhoods to rubble. Our bombs slaughter a little more indiscriminately than the sword, and instead of enslaving a people we impoverish them.
However, the one thing the Neocons just love about Rome was its two-class system of Patricians and Plebeians. Rome was never troubled by a middle class starting annoying reform movements and worrying about whether the Plebes had enough to eat. If the Plebes got testy, there were always bread and circuses. Today, we give them American Idol.
There are lessons we have yet to learn from Rome. For example, Julius Caesar knew how to deal with insurrections. During his campaign to liberate Gaul from its tribal tyranny, he besieged a city. When it fell, he cut the hands off all who had resisted. That’s something to keep in mind as our troops liberate Sadr City. It’s hard to fire an AK-47 when you have hooks instead of hands.
Another practice was the hiring of thugs by politicians to insure the smooth implementation of their programs.
But wait! You have Blackwater, so you are almost there.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
4:57:17 AM 
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