Dear George,
You are who you are because you are to diplomacy what Jack the Ripper was to gastric bypass surgery, and this is why we are the world’s sole superbadass.
The key to our success is a mechanistic view of foreign cultures and countries. When we turn our attention to an alien culture, we never see a dynamic entity throbbing with all of the contradictions and paradoxes that characterize life. Instead, we see a machine in need of repair. All we need to is tighten a screw, change a part, slather on some lubricant and in a nonce, we transform natives into a consumers.
Nowhere do we find a better example of our Tinker Toy diplomacy at work than in Iraq. You tell America that we must stay in Iraq until we fix it, then you downplay the fact that this is like healing a cut with a razor blade, which brings us to the role the public must play in the Corporatist State—none.
For your policies to succeed, you must turn America into the land of the living dead. Let the public’s silence be the toxic fog that conceals your Manichean machinations. This vacuum makes it possible for you to protect America’s vital national interests overseas. And by vital national interests, we mean our vital corporatist interests.
Democracy is the death knell of the Corporatist State. The New Deal proved this. The man who demands health care and a living wage doesn’t’ know what’s good for him. This is why he needs an authoritarian matrix to point him in the right direction.
To keep the Corporatist State on life support, the Pentagon created its Northern Command. For the first time in our history, we have a commander-in-chief (CINC) for Canada, Mexico and the continental United States. This is the equivalent of the United States being under the command of a Roman proconsul. Hand in hand with this, we have an exponential increase in domestic surveillance and the increased militarization of the nation’s police departments.
It is imperative to keep the Corporatist State afloat on its sea of red ink as a safeguard against the public backlash that is inevitable when our economic house of cards collapses. At the same time, we must be sure that no other nation tries to mess with our international toy box.
So, get out the scalpel, George, and beautify the world.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
4:57:44 AM 
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