Open Letters to George W. Bush
Letters to the president from his ardent admirer Belacqua Jones
Last updated:
5/1/2007; 5:01:28 AM


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Saturday, April 07, 2007

Dear George,

 

I see the war wimps think your pending attack on Iran will trigger World War III.  What a pathetic and ignorant group they are.  Nothing strengthens a nation’s moral fiber like slaughter.  War is the cutting edge of urban renewal; that which we level we rebuild.  It is an invaluable tool of population control; there is no better way of combating global warming than reducing the surplus population.  Less people consume less energy.  War hardens the flaccid will of a nation gone soft in its prosperity. Finally, war snuffs out the sputtering candle of liberty once and for all. 

 

The reason Vietnam and Iraq were problematic is that they were too limited.  For war to succeed, it must be writ large, large enough that public opinion means squat since the nation is fighting for its survival.. 

 

World War III would be the ultimate upper that would stir the public to new heights of barbarity as we reduced the Middle East, China, and Russia to nuclear dust.  But even if we lost, the Global Oligarchy would continue to thrive.  After all, the lingua franca of the new world order is the spreadsheet.  Besides, oligarchs have the deepest bunkers.

 

So keep rattling your sabers.  Every time you do, you strengthen the hand of Iran’s hardliners and brings us that much closer to military glory.

 

Your admirer,

Belacqua Jones 


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