Dear George,
The country that depends upon National Security to insure its continuing prosperity needs an ongoing string of threats to justify the need for its National Security. Each strategy designed to neutralize the newest threat creates even more threats that serve to justify even more National Security, which generates additional threats that validate an even higher level of National Security.
It is time to add a new threat to the mix. We live in an age when our economic growth rests on the wholesale screwing of the American worker. This means there are a lot of pissed off people out there. Fortunately, job insecurity discourages open rebellion.
However, we must address the threat of employee passive aggression. It’s all too easy for an employee to “misplace” a file or hit the wrong key even as he bows and scrapes. It’s very simple for a kiss-ass to pull on his forelock as he gives 105 percent instead of 110 percent. An employee on a company retreat can be plotting mischief even has he holds hands around campfire while singing Kumbaya.
All of these acts, along with others too numerous to enumerate, are a clear threat to our National Security. It’s time the Corporatist State launched a preemptive strike against passive aggression. Increased vigilance is the answer.
Body language is a sure indicator of passive aggression. A furrowed brow, a dismissive half-grin, a tone of detached irony in the voice, rolling eyeballs, all of this is symptomatic of a subversive employee. Teach these telltale signs to junior and middle managers and designate them all “Passive Aggression Bloodhounds.” Make Blondie the Bloodhound mascot for the campaign.
Place surveillance cameras in restrooms, broom closets and supply rooms so that at every moment of the working day, in every nook and cranny of the office, employees are monitored, facial expressions are scrutinized, and body language in interpreted. The unhappy worker is a worker in need of guidance.
Passive aggression is symptomatic of an unbalanced neurosis. The Corporatist State, in its benevolence, has an obligation to address this neurosis through therapeutic intervention.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
6:13:53 AM
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