Dear George,
This morning I was surfing some liberal blogs for Chertoff (It’s a voluntary effort on my part, a small public service I perform. If I see one that strikes me as particularly subversive, I forward it to Mike for action. National Security is everyone’s job.)…
…anyhow, I was surfing these blogs when I came a cross one that sarcastically praised our position as the world’s number one arms dealer. The writer suggested that arms dealers are no different from drug dealers, an obvious put down, but one that she left dangling.
I had a feeling that there was a diamond buried in that turd, but I couldn’t quite get my tongue around it, so I leaned back in my chair, took another hit on my pipe and waited for inspiration, which quickly struck. That wasn’t a put down! That was a goddamn accurate description. Trust me, George; I am your go-to guy when it comes to addiction.
Think about it! Both drug dealers and arms dealers are physicians who treat the pathology of insecurity.
Addicts are studies in insecurity and low self-esteem. The first time an addict pops a pill, snorts some power, takes a drag or shoots up, the result is a profound spiritual experience as all the fears and self-doubts evaporate. (I would not be what I am today were it not for the mirical of meth.) The addict likes the feeling, so he takes another hit. Of course, as the body builds a tolerance to the drug, the insecurities return so he needs even bigger hits to keep them at bay. The progression continues until all of the addict’s resources and energy are directed towards his next score.
It’s the same thing with a country. First, it must feel threatened. It makes no difference whether the threat is real or imagined. A perceived threat is all that counts. So, the arms dealer sells the nation a fix. It might be some F-16s, some tanks or some RPGs. Or, it could be a designer cocktail. Upon receipt of these arms, the nation has a spiritual experience as all of its fears and insecurities vanish.
But the fears return. Once a nation purchases some arms, it must begin to worry that its purchase will motivate its neighbor to purchase arms as well. Of course, the dealer is right there with another fix. So it goes in an downward spiral until all of the nation’s resources are focused on purchasing weapons that are even more powerful. Luckily for us, there are no weapon’s detox units or rehab spas. No one has ever thought of developing a 12-step program for a weapons-addicted nation.
America could solve her drug problem by granting amnesty to any drug dealer willing to go into arms sales. After all, they already know how to work insecurity.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
6:19:25 AM 
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