Dear George,
In death, the world has canonized St. Milton of Friedman…
Um…what I mean is St. Milton’s death, not the world’s death, though St. Milton certainly laid the groundwork for that little adventure.
But, I digress…
St. Milton was our greatest theologian since St. Augustine penned his City of God. St. Milton moved beyond God and divine providence as the movers of history. Instead, he looked at Hegel’s World Spirit, draped it with spreadsheets, and particularized it as the Washington Consensus.
Surely Hegel prophesized St. Milton’s birth when he wrote:
By a dialectical advance, subjective self-seeking turns into mediation of the particular through the universal, with the result that each man in earning, producing, and enjoying on his own account is eo ipso producing and earning for the enjoyment of everyone else. The compulsion which brings this about is rooted in the complex interdependence of each on all, and now presents itself to each as the universal permanent capital.
How much clearer can it be? Hegel prophesized St. Milton’s Theology of Impoverishment as the end point of history as surely as Isaiah prophesized the birth of Christ.
Thanks to him we stand atop the mountain of destiny, looking down upon a pastoral valley of peasant huts, the smoke of the hearth curling through the smoke holes as the mother prepares the family’s daily meal of boiled grass and tree bark. Peace prevails because the peasants are too weak to take up their cudgels and dash in the heads of their rulers. Instead, they are comforted knowing that they are playing a part in the fulfillment of the Great World Spirit that represents the termination of history.
This is St. Milton’s gift to the world. After him, no further thought is necessary; there is nothing left to criticize; further dissent is counterproductive. We must have faith that the wealth of the rich will trickle down to local police departments and the military to insure that they have the finest equipment money can buy so they may open the eyes of the ignorant to the brave new world that is their lot.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
4:13:56 AM 
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