Dear George,
Are you going to let him get away with it? The man has slapped you across the face with his gauntlet and you’d damn well better set a time and a place for the duel.
I’m talking about Putin stirring things up in the Caspian Sea region with his goddamn diplomacy. He knows perfectly well that there is a defacto Bush Doctrine in place that declares the Middle East to be our exclusive sphere of influence.
Does the man get it? Hell, no! He turns right around and convenes a Caspian Sea summit with Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, Turkmenistan, and (are you sitting down) Iran! He actually sits down with a rogue nation and discusses entering into a strategic pact with them. Then in an act of pure hubris, they talk about not allowing any shipping on the Caspian Sea unless it is flying the flag of one of the littoral states.
This is another step toward Iran joining the Shanghai Cooperation Organization (SCO) made up of Russia, China, and a gaggle of Stans. Talk about an axis of evil, this is it. The SCO is an alliance specifically designed—I REPEAT, SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED—to act as a counter balance to NATO, the European Union, the USofA, and all that is good and pure and innocent and naive about Western Culture. Do you see what’s happening? The goddamn natives are getting testy.
Then, just to rub salt into the wound, the Iraqi, who owe us big time for bailing them out, shows their gratitude by contracting with China to build two power stations. Of course, China sees this as a chance to embarrass us by actually building the goddamn thing on time and under budget.
It’s time for some kickass diplomacy just to remind the world who there momma is.
Character is the ability to cling to your ideals no matter how outdated they’ve become. The world we once knew is changing; new regional alliances are undercutting our hegemony. But, like Sampson, as the temple came crashing down around him, you are standing tall and firm, for you know in your heart of hearts that the values America stands for are eternal and immutable. Greed and exploitation are core human values that will never change. They are the twin maggots that feed on the decaying flesh of a waning power. They are nothing other than what Hegel called “benevolent compulsions”.
I’m telling you, George, take out Iran and our troubles are over. Once we merge Iraq and Iran into one big oil well, the world will look on us with a renewed awe and respect.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
6:04:34 AM 
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