Dear George,
Yesterday your star shone brightly with its usual dim glow as you showed the world that you cling tothe delusive belief that total world control emanates from Washington D.C. What a thrill it was to open yesterday’s paper and see you in fine fettle even though your world is collapsing around you.
First, you set Cuba straight: One Castro is enough. You’ll have none of this passing of power off to his brother. It’s goddamn time Cubans follow Iraq’s example and morph itself into a neoliberal democratic society under the guidance and tutelage of the United States. There is no doubt that the Cuban people, envious of all the benefits enjoyed by the Iraqi people are straining at the bit.
You issued your orders at a gathering of Cuban dissidents. This gave you the secondary gain of demonstrating to the world just how you support and love dissidents. It was a nice touch to have some former political prisoners on hand to illustrate how Castro does not hesitate to jail individuals arbitrarily, without bothering to file charges or bring them to trial.
No sooner had the air cleared from that performance then you were at it again defending that porkiest of pork barrels, the Great Starwars Missile Defense Shield Against Terrorists Who May Develop Nuclear Missiles Which They Will Deploy On The Backs Of Donkeys.
This gave you a chance to fan the flames over Iran, which has become the sole justification for your boondoggle. Yessir, we have to plunge even further into debt because Iran may or may not be developing nuclear weapons which it may or may not have for another ten years, but what the hell, why take a chance.
You’re standing tall in your belief that future generations living in their defunded poverty will look back on the Starwars Shield as you finest legacy, right up there with Iraq, Afghanistan, and Iran.
As always, your vision is broad and wide, totally unhampered by sophistication. What is, is, and if it is, it ain’t. You are living proof of the axiom that only when a nation becomes convinced of its own moral purity is it capable of committing acts of evil. And moral clarity is possible only when we demonize the “other” and make of him a personification of evil.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones.
6:17:09 AM 
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