Dear George,
Great leaders are great because they think great thoughts, though in your case the great thoughts are contracted out since your worldview is one of pure vision unsullied by rational considerations.
An important component of thinking big thoughts is to carry a thought out to its logical end even though this end defies common sense. However, when a great leader is able to define reality, common sense is what the leader says it is. This divorcement of policy from reality is possible because we are fortunate to live in a historical social system characterized by exuberant abstractionalism.
I mention this in passing because I have a suggestion for tweaking our Iraq policy that will increase its efficiency.
The military is justifying the shooting of some Iraqi civilians because they were military-age males (MAM). This is a necessary tactic in a counter insurgency operation because it is impossible to tell the difference between an insurgent and a civilian. The concept was developed in Viet Nam. When the pilot of a helicopter gunship saw a pajama-clad male engaged in a suspicious activity such as tending his rice paddy, it would fire a few rounds in front of him. If the male took off running (which he would have to be brain dead not to do) this was considered prima facie evidence that he was a Viet Cong, and they would mow him down.
The problem in Iraq is how we are defining MAMs. Roughly speaking, the military defines an MAM as any male between the ages of 17 and 49. There is some wiggle room here since our troops rarely check a man’s papers before shooting him.
The definition is simply too narrow. A counterinsurgency operation will only be effective if we redefine MAMs as any male between the ages of 2 and 89. This sounds extreme until you think about it. It would be very easy to strap a bomb vest on a toddler and send him toddling into the nearest Toys R Us. On top of that, rumor has it that Iran is developing a suicide walker for the senior jhadists. Delivery takes forever, but the effects are devastating once he reaches his target.
The threat doesn’t stop there. Every insurgent is the product of a military-age male producing womb (MAMPW). In addition to the MAMPWs, Iraq is crawling with the potential military-age male producing wombs (PMAMPW) of prepubescent females.
In short, the solution to the insurgency problem is to implement a Terminal Demographic Adjustment Policy (TDAP) whose goal would be to clear Iraq of its civilians. The preferred methodology would be migration. Unfortunately, this is problematic because Iraq’s neighbors could only absorb a limited number of refugees.
I can only allude to alternative methodologies since its best not to put such things in writing. It is sufficient to point out that we are the world’s sole superpower with world’s greatest Air Force with the most bombs of anyone else anywhere in the world. You can leave it to the Big Dick to flesh out the details.
Let me emphasize that our TDAP will in no way prejudice the Iraqi people in their quest for a free, stable, democratic society grounded on the principles of secular neoliberalism. The upside is that such a society will be possible once TDAP is fully implemented.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
6:17:51 AM
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