i Open Letters to George W. Bush





  Open Letters to George W. Bush
Letters to the president from his ardent admirer Belacqua Jones
Last updated:
12/1/2007; 6:42:17 AM


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Friday, November 02, 2007

Dear George,

 

Do you appreciate what a dicey little dish original sin is?  Its potentials and possibilities are limitless. 

 

It begins with the premise that all of humanity is vile, ignorant and bestial.  This is the price man paid when Eve went apple picking.  It’s elemental theology, easily taught to a child.  It’s cut, dried and immutable—sort of.

 

However, there is hope.  Man’s only chance for salvation is the redeeming grace of Capitalism.    Only in the bracing atmosphere of a free marketplace is Man able to turn his depravity to constructive use through the accumulation of profit.  The depravity is still present and as strong as ever, but now it is directed towards a socially acceptable activity, the accumulation of personal wealth. 

 

Thus, do we have the universalism of Capitalism, for greed is truly universal.  We can no longer speak of American companies since they are a thing of the past.  Instead, we can only speak of multinationals since under the aegis of free trade, Capitalism is liberated from the straight jacket of the national boundary.

 

It follows that only the wealthy man is redeemed; only the wealthy nation is sinless.  This means that those without wealth, be they nations or individuals, are still struggling in the quagmire of sin, which makes them lesser creatures in the eyes of God. 

 

The mission of the Capitalist society is to force the less fortunate into challenging situations in which they must either begin the accumulative process or perish.  Only by inducing poverty and suffering is the redemption of Mankind possible.  Granted, few will make it, but this is as it should be since the environment could not support prosperity for the masses.  We call this Green Capitalism.

 

By definition, those who are not redeemed are evil.  This facilitates a simplistic Manichean worldview that must be at the foundation of all spiritual effort.  A sinner is simply a talking animal.  When Jesus said love thy neighbor, he was speaking of a gated community.  When he said love your enemies, he was referring to competitors, not your employees. 

 

Christianity and Capitalism; made for each other.  And Becky Sharp oozes alms astride a pustule of Christian piety.

 

Your admirer,

Belacqua Jones

 


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