Dear George,
The world thinks you are stupid. Maybe you are, maybe your are not. The important thing is the world thinks you are. This is a smokescreen behind which all things are possible. Normally, a combination of terror and charm ushers in oppression. You are pioneering a new methodology by introducing oppression behind a dumb-fuck grin.
While the world laughs at a bumbling fool, you slowly tighten the screws. What the public mistakes for ineptitude is really a Machiavellian master plan to bring to fruition a Corporatist State where citizenship ends and wageless-slave employment begins.
Take, for example, your terror watch list that you started in the wake of 9/11. That little list has swelled to include 860,000 names and is increasing at the rate of 20,000 a month.
Terrorism experts figure that, at the very most, there are no more than 200,000 terrorists out there who might actually commit a dastardly deed. Many of these, such as Hamas and Hezbollah, offer no direct threat to the United States.
People look at this and think you have screwed up again. What they fail to comprehend is the creative use you have made of the bureaucratic mindset. Nothing frightens a bureaucrat more than the threat of being “criticized”. I have never witnessed a bureaucratic criticism, but the way bureaucrats sweat avoiding it, it has to at least involve pulled fingernails and smushed genitals. Hence, no bureaucrat worth his salt is going to risk criticism by leaving anyone off the list who might, maybe, possibly, perhaps, long shotingly (given a scenario that goes well beyond a worst-case scenario) do something or anything that might stand an outside chance of ruffling our domestic tranquility.
So every department, every bureau, agency, and office swept a dragnet through their files, both active and inactive, regardless of their relation to international or domestic terrorism, and started throwing names on the list by the bucketful. Deadbeat dads made the list; anyone caught with so much as a joint made the list, anyone who screwed up their Form 1040A made the list.
And the beat goes on.
As always, George, there is a method to your stupidity. A crucial component of your consolidation of power is the creation of a surveillance society. This means you must get the public use to surveillance. If surveillance pisses people off, your surveillance society is DOA.
Airport security lines were a start. Forcing people to genuflect while they take off their shoes was a masterstroke. But your all-embracing, comprehensive, inclusive Terror Watch List is the piece de resistance. Nothing creates a stab of anxiety like the public seeing the person yanked out of an airport security line and taken to an empty room somewhere to experience God knows what. It causes the ten or fifteen people behind them to snap to and wonder if they might have done anything to make the list and to swear that they will watch what they say, what they write, and what they think.
It’s conditioning, pure conditioning, that changes a once proud and free people into a herd of mindless sheep who remain silent before any indignity for fear their flight to Disneyworld might be delayed when they are remanded to Syria for further questioning.
All the while, you have scammed the public into believing that the purpose of the Terrorist Watch List is to catch terrorists. God forbid that should happen. Were you to actually catch all the terrorists, you would have to come up with another threat to justify your actions. No, its better that to have terrorists hiding in the woodshed. It makes it easier for the public to give up their freedoms.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
7:00:06 AM 
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