Dear George,
You are an onion with your multiple layers of complexity and brilliance. Every time I think you are a dumb shit, another insight bubbles up and the light of your genius shines forth.
I have been reading Naomi Klein’s The Shock Doctrine. Well, I have been sort of reading it. This has involved wandering from bookstore to bookstore and reading a snatch here and a snatch there. There are two reasons for this approach: first, I refuse to spend money on leftist writers, and secondly, it is only a matter of time before my body odor becomes offensive to the other customers and I am asked to leave.
Klein’s book highlights the many contributions of St. Milton of Friedman who showed the world that a superstition still has legs. Visions of the Virgin are out; visions of a utopian free market are in.
As with most utopias, attempts to implement St. Milton’s has left untold misery and suffering in its wake.
But, I digress.
I was paging through Klein’s book yesterday when I came across one of St. Milton’s quotes that struck me with such power that I cried out in ecstasy, swooned, and fell to the floor. This forced store employees to drag me out the front door by my legs and deposit me on the sidewalk where I slowly came around with tears of gratitude running down my cheeks whilst braying “Alleluias” at the top of my lungs.
I was released on my own recognizance.
Anyway, this is what he said; this is what St. Milton had to say:
Only a crisis—actual or perceived—produces real change. When the crisis occurs, the actions that are taken depend on the ideas that are lying around. That, I believe, is our basic function: to develop alternatives to existing policies, to keep them alive and available until the politically impossible becomes politically inevitable.
George! George! George! All this time me though your destructiveness was simply the product of petulant immaturity and ineptitude.
I was wrong, wrong, wrong!
You are to St. Milton as Paul was to Jesus. You are taking his utopian vision to new heights, giving it flesh and getting ready to turn the greatest democracy the world has ever seen into an authoritarian free market state.
Now Iran makes sense. On the surface, such an attack appears to be an idiotic act of self-destruction. We attack, Iran blocks the Straits of Hormuz, destroys our carrier task forces with its missiles as well the Green Zone and our multiple bases in Iraq.
There you have it, the world is plunged into recession; our economy tanks, and you have a genuine St. Milton style crisis on your hands.
You also have your National Security and Homeland Security Presidential Directive you signed on May 9, 2007 that gives you dictatorial powers in the event of a “national emergency” as defined by you and a tanked economy would be about as “national emergencitized” as you could get. Then you have Public Law 109-364 that allows you to station troops anywhere in the United States. This would allow you to round up all the fucking dissenters and warehouse them in the detention centers Halliburton has been building all over the country.
It will be bye-bye Social Security, Medicare, private health plans, pension funds and any other program, public or private, that divert funds from corporate coffers. There would be no more messy democracy to get in the way of your grandiose schemes.
Some people assume that another Great Depression would give American another New Deal. They forget that when the Great Depression struck, the only ideas lying around were those of John Maynard Keynes and his leftist welfare state. Now, the only ideas lying around are those of St. Milton. The left is huddling in a corner with its thumb up its ass, so the country can forget all this New Deal Nonsense. It will be free market all the way.
Let’s face it; the Soviets were rank amateurs when it came to setting up a police state. If the Russian Revolution had been lucky enough to have a St. Milton on their staff, Russia would be a total wasteland by now.
As it is, you are prepared to show the Russkies the true meaning of wasteland.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
6:04:20 AM 
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