Dear George,
It is a pity the public does not appreciate the effort that goes into the promulgation of hi-grade bullshit. People assume it simply tumbles from your lips in all of its unmediated glory as a sort of secular virgin birth.
Nor does the public understand the pain good bullshit spares them. All corpses stink as they decay; bullshit is the scented oil that brings to death a sweetness that makes it palatable.
Two elements are essential if bullshit is to have any legs. First, good bullshit is grounded on the logical fallacy, post hoc ergo propter hoc (After this, therefore because of this). It treats a sequential relationship as if it were a causal relationship. For example, wielding this fallacy, the spinmeister can claim that because B follows A in the alphabet, A caused B.
We are seeing this fallacy at work in your minions’ claim that because a relative calm has descended on Baghdad since the surge, the surge is the reason for the calm. In their facile minds, the absence of wholesale slaughter is success even though life in Iraq remains as wretched as ever. Of course, your shovelers assure us that the fact the misery followed our invasion is strictly a sequential relationship and not a causal one. If only the Iraqis had done what we told them to, they would have plenty of water, electricity, hospitals, doctors and schools. It is all their fault.
The second element that makes bullshit sublime is a rhetorical twist. The good spinmeister is able to treat the most aberrant behavior as an historical imperative that is unstoppable. This is most evident in the spread of globalism and “free” trade. A pliant corporatist media treats theft as the vanguard of a historical process, a destiny that is undeniable. Conversely, any opposition to globalization is treated as a futile attempt to impede progress. Never, never, never do the hacks admit that antiglobalism is a palliative that is trying to restore normal decency and integrity. On the contrary, the world must accept this mental illness as the new norm.
Be patient, George. When historians of the future evaluate your administration, they will sing your praises as the greatest bullshit artist the world has ever seen. So keep spinning and keep the faith.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
5:25:31 AM
|
|