Play Safe... have fun
David Bailey double-take made me think... hard!
I don't know if I'm an odd ball - I'm talking about sex here - but for a number of years, since meeting my present wife, I've always used condoms. Don't ask me why I still do, at 60 and married... that's my privilege... but as the Boy Scout motto says, "Be Prepared."
In the 1970s I'd been very casual about sex... in an intense way. Met a number of very interesting women whom, as Leonard Cohen sang in Everybody Knows, "There were so many people you had to meet without your clothes..." and not a single risk entered our spinning heads before, during or after the event, whether a single night or long term.
And then I started to hear about past friends, occasionally women but inevitably men, who were dying of AIDS... and, having worked in the entertainment industry, there were more than a few. When I look back I cannot believe how I was spared or lucky enough to say "No" when it would have been too easy to say "Yes"... but, from Cohen again, "That's how it goes... everybody knows."
Then one day opening an English broadsheet newspaper revealed a full page image of a stunningly attractive woman with the caption, "If this woman had the virus which leads to AIDS, in a few years she could look like the person over the page."
And the shock was that when you turned the page, expecting to see a wretched, blemished face... the image was exactly the same! And the caption simply said, "Worrying isn't it." That advert did more for my sex education than anything else I saw, read or heard. The advertisement concept was sublime in its simplicity and David Bailey created (in my mind) an everlasting image... and visual message.
From that day I've been a firm believer in the condom. What I find difficult to comprehend is why so many other men I know don't have any thought for them because of embarrassment (yes, really!), refusing to stop for a moment to fit one on, having difficulty fitting one on, being turned off by the smell of rubber (try the orange ones... they're tasty too!), and especially not knowing what to do with a used one (well, tie a knot in it for a start - the condom, that is!).
Well, fellas... get real, don't leave it to your partner to wipe everything up with a handful of tissues while you roll up in a heap, exhausted... share everything, the enjoyment, the pleasure, and the laughs afterwards as you unravel the rubber... when you have nothing to worry about before or after you're probably a better lover. And for those who are still uncomfortable because of ill-fitting condoms read the following I downloaded from the wuh-wuh-wuh-dot-whatever... and DO it!
The Next Big (or Not So Big) Thing... Why Condom Size Matters
Most men have been there at one time or another. That moment when total sexual exhilaration turns to pure panic and fear... fear that the "little astronaut" out on his moon walk has lost his space suit. Fear that the knight is no longer wearing his shining armour!
The number one reason that condoms break or slip off during the horizontal mambo is that the Johnson in question was not properly dressed. Like shoes or bras, careful consideration must be given to condom size. Yes, all men are created equal; but in very different shapes and sizes when it comes to the trouser department. And while it may not be the size of the wave that floats your boat, when it comes to choosing a condom, size does matter.
Researchers Agree
A recent survey by Durex Condoms revealed that the length of an erect penis can range from four to nine inches, while penis widths can vary from just over one inch to more than two inches. The Durex study also found that 50% of the almost 3,000 survey respondents felt that the condoms they regularly used did not fit properly; 25% said the condoms were "too tight," 10% said they were "much too tight," and 15% responded that the condoms were "too loose" or "much too loose." Not surprisingly, 42% of those surveyed indicated that condoms should be "better shaped." A whopping 44% of those surveyed reported they had experienced condom slippage or breakage problems in the past.
The Durex study concluded, "Given the wide range of penis sizes and the relatively narrow range of condoms designed to fit them, it is perhaps unsurprising to find that 50% of respondents felt that the condoms they use did not fit them properly. The answers provided also indicate that condoms which don't fit properly are more likely to break during use..."
Another study performed by La Trobe University in Australia examined the effect of penis dimension on the probability of complete condom slippage and/or condom breakage in actual use. A total of 3,658 condoms were used by 184 men. Over the course of the study, 16% of the men experienced at least one instance of breakage and 19% experienced complete slippage. The study concluded that condom breakage was strongly associated with penis circumference, particularly for men with above-average girth. In fact, each additional centimetre of penis circumference beyond the average 13.19 cm increased the risk of breakage by 50-100%. Like the Durex study, the researchers concluded, "This finding suggests a need to increase either the range of condom sizes currently available or the [girth] of currently available condoms."
Erection Rejection
It is no secret that many men dislike wearing condoms. Some Men say that condoms interfere with sex, "get in the way," or "kill the mood." Most of the time however, these problems arise because the man has difficulty putting on the condom, or is concerned that the darn thing may slip off.
If a condom is difficult to put on due to size issues, the little soldier may suddenly be unable to stand at attention. A survey conducted by the University of Sydney, Australia found that two-thirds of the men surveyed reported they "sometimes" or "often" lost their erection while trying to put on a condom. Of course without an erection, a condom is impossible to put on at all.
While many men struggle to put on ill-fitting condoms that are too small, many others experience anxiety that the condom may slip off their slimmer girth. This anxiety can also interfere with the ability to keep the flag at full mast. Condoms that are too loose increase the odds of slippage or leakage.
Paradoxically, one of the most common reasons condoms slip off is because they are too tight or too long; if not fully rolled down, the ring at the base can enter the man's partner and be dragged off. Condoms that are too short also increase the risk of exposure to STDs (sexually transmitted diseases). When condoms are too tight, breakage and slippage is more likely to occur, and sensitivity can be significantly diminished.
The reality is that condom size is very important. Unfortunately, unlike penises, most condoms around the world today are made in a very narrow range of sizes. In fact, the overwhelming majority of condoms do not refer to size at all, and simply are marketed as a "one size fits all" product. While a few companies like Trojan have shown some sensitivity to the size issue by producing some larger sized models, very few such products exist, and even fewer are available for those needing a snugger fit. Millions of men continue to struggle with the "one size fits all" mentality that the condom manufacturers apply to condom size, often leading to very unfortunate results. Given the inherent difficulties in measuring customers to ensure a more tailored condom fit, condom producers simply continue to force round pegs into square holes.
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Revolutionary New Condom is Custom Sized to Fit
The one size fits all concept of condoms is about to change. A revolutionary new line of condoms that features 55 different sizes will now ensure that every man will have a condom that fits him properly. Backed by two patents in ten countries, They-Fit Condoms are available in a multitude of length and girth combinations. This new line offers sizes that go well beyond the limited range of sizes currently available, from three inches long to ten inches long, and from super slim to extra roomy. For the first time ever, condoms are being sold like shoes or bras.
They-Fit Condoms protect both the wearer and his partner, reducing both risk and anxiety. "Men everywhere, regardless of their size, will finally be able to get a condom that fits properly in order to have the safest and most enjoyable experience possible," says Frank C. Sadlo, the inventor of They-Fit Condoms.
Of course, comfort is what consumers will notice most of all about
They-Fit Condoms. A custom "wrap" job for each man begins with the
simple "Fit Kit," which can be downloaded from Condomania's Web site. The "Fit Kit" enables a man (or even his enthusiastic partner) to quickly and easily measure his penis length and girth according to the Fit Kit's proprietary sizing chart, which then display's the appropriate custom condom size. The dozens of available sizes ensure that men of all shapes and sizes will be able to be dressed properly for their big events.
Men need not worry how they measure up with the "Fit Kit"; the proprietary numbering system is not relative to actual size. Thus ordering a box of B88's is no more embarrassing than ordering a box of Z11's. According to Sadlo, "It is important to note that these numbers are not relative to other letters and numbers, so that no one will be self conscious about the size of the They Fit Condom they buy."
The Fit Kit and They-Fit Condoms are available at Condomania.com and at Condomania's New York City store. The condoms are competitively priced at $11.95 per dozen.--- Adam Glickman
If you need to lighten up a bit have a look at The Funny Page. I guessed what was coming but the punch-line still cracked me up! Enjoy...
The Value of Undies
From the Northwest Florida Daily News...
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when your vehicle...
A Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything into place.
The wife stood back up, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead!
11:09:38 PM 
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