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Depression-Blockers on the Net: Go Fug Yourself
This bloggy-winning site, the production of the incandescent Heather and the winsome yet trenchant Jessica, has one and only one objective: mockery of bad fashion and of celebrities and their hangers-on who purport to be fashion forward. (For those who don't already know it, the definition of "fugly" according to Heather and Jessica is: "frightfully ugly; of or pertaining to something beyond the boundaries of normal unattractiveness. Ex: "That 'Kabbalists Do It Better' trucker hat is fugly."
They don't need my endorsement. They have been praised in: The Village Voice, The Guardian, and many, many others. But "Eat the Damn Peach" is meant to be all my remedies against prufrocking Turn-of-the-Millenium general hopelessness, and there's no better cure for despair over the meaninglessness of existence than pointing and laughing at those whom the universe has otherwise richly favored..
A lot of sites exist for the purpose of mocking celebrities for their fashion failings, but the difference between those sites and this site, and why even sites that may have preceded this one in time seem to me to be but pallid imitations, is: Heather and Jessica. I don't care enough about fashion to read these other sites and I don't even know who half of the people in the fuggers' crosshairs even are, but I love my daily helping of tasty Heather and Jessica-style snide. Here are a couple of samples (but you really MUST click on the links to appreciate the finger-looking goodness of a good fugging:
Heather:
Thoroughly tired of going to parties and finding herself inappropriately dressed for the rash of impromptu gynecological exams that contantly break out -- who hasn't suffered that indignity, really -- [Click to see Heather-fugged celebrity] came to this shindig properly prepared for a drunk, willful pap smear.
Stars -- they're just like us! They dress stirrup-ready!
Further Heather:
This dress is somewhat unflattering, rather see-through, and wholly hideous...but there is another reason I wish that this [click!] person hadn't worn it.
Quite frankly, her navel scares the life out of me.
That is chapped evil, right there. You are staring into the eye of Satan. Have you ever seen the South Park "Woodland Critter Christmas" episode? If you have, then you'll understand why the words "blood orgy" are so appropriate here. And if you haven't, well, you are figuratively (and in some ways literally) staring at the belly of the beast in this photo. That thing is all monster. Don't stare at it too long, or you'll be compelled to drink the blood of a righteous woman while carving pentagrams into the walls.
What is it planning?....Was it hoping to cross paths with a jewelry-toting hobbit?... What? WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH US?
Jessica:
Oh, [click to see].
I think I've seen this outfit before. Where was it? Where was it? It's right on the tip of my tongue. Oh, yes! On the cover of the bodice-ripping novel Love, Remember Me, wherein the beautiful English heroine is kidnapped and sold into a harem in some unnamed but beautiful and exotic Middle Eastern country, where she's forced to have threesomes with other girls in the harem and she's very against the threesome in theory, but when she does it, she sort of secretly likes it, but not as much as she likes the English lord she was engaged to before she was kidnapped, even though he's not as kinky as the guy who owns the harem. At one point in that book, she wore this outfit. And then the harem housemother made her take it off because the color washed her out.
Jessica, some more:
A VOICEMAIL FROM [click!]
Theriously, what you looking at? There'th nothing new or different about my lipth. They've alwayth looked like thith. No, really. It'th not collagen! I would never do that to mythelf!... I am a rethponthible mother -- WHO ITH NOT ON DRUGTH -- and I have done NOTHING to mythelf that could ever be conthtrued as plathtic thurgery!
Thank you for your kind attention to thith matter.
By the way, how do you like my kicky little necktie? Ithn't it totally Dreth for Thucceth as reinterpreted for the new millenium? No, Dreth for Thucceth. DRETH FOR THUCCETH! Thop acting like you don't underthand me! I THREAR I WILL THROW THITH MICROPHONE THAND AT YOUR HEAD!
Please, for your own sake: bookmark this site. As the Fuggers say, "Fugly is the new pretty."
RELATED POSTINGS:
Diverse Delights: Manolo the Shoeblogger
Depression-Blocker: Go Fug Yourself
The Cutest Place on the Net: The Addictive Bliss of “Cute Overload.”
Images © 2006 Jupiterimages Corporation. Used pursuant to license from Animation Factory.com.
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