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For the Jaded: Ohmigod, it's soooo cuuuuuuuuute! The addictive bliss of "Cute Overload (TM*)."
This site has to be seen to be truly understood; no description will be adequate.
I have never understood people who spend time looking at porn. I also have never understood girls---or men---who after adulthood continue to send pastel birthday cards with cartoons of kittens or puppies holding little baskets of flowers in their mouths. I don't like or trust people who make their kittens wear little booties or who put little outfits on their dogs, much less women who carry their animals around in a handbag. I am---in theory---against cuteness.
But not immune to it. Cute Overload(TM) is a Webby-award winning site. The name tells you all you need to know about it, but in case you want to know more, its designers explain its purpose right at the top of the page: "We scour the Web for only the finest in Cute Imagery.... We offer an overwhelming amount of cuteness to fill your daily visual allowance. Drink it in!" The site is blessedly ad-free, though they do accept contributions.
Warning: The amount of cuteness on offer there is indeed overwhelming. If you stumble on it without preparation while net browsing at work, you will end up with shiny eyes and a big stupid grin that will convince your boss or whoever that you have been surfing for porn.
I clicked on it through another website. I didn't intend to look, I swear! It has a lot of photos and they took awhile to load; in the meantime, I forgot all about it, leaving it open on my desk. When I later---totally accidentally, I swear it!---opened it up, I shrieked, "Oh my God!" My husband came running. "What's the matter?" he yelled.
"Nick," I said, "Look....Look. Oh, look at this."
I swear I could feel my eyes dilating from the effort to absorb as much baby-animal based cuteness as they could hold and begin to water from the sheer cuteness of it all. I could feel my mouth spreading in a goofy, beatific grin.
Because the pictures I saw---they are updated daily---were the cutest damn photos of baby animals I have ever seen in my life. "Look, Nick," I moaned, "Look, oh look, oh my God, look at this...."
Nick looked. "A baby rabbit!" he said. "What's wrong with it?"
I was busy scrolling down the parade of uber-cuteness. "Oh," I squealed, "Oh....! Oh....! Nick. Look. Isn't he darling? Look, oh, look at these. Look at the expressions on their little faces. Loook. Look at this one's feet! Look at this one's tummy! Oh, sweet God in heaven, look at this one's tiny little ears. Oh my god, they are so cuuuuute!"
"Yeah, um, they're sweet," said Nick. He likes baby animals. If he sees one, and it wants petting, he will pet it.
"Eeeeeeek! Hammies! Bun-buns! Mousies!" I gibbered. "Nick, look at them, just look!"
Instead he looked at me. "Are you all right?" he asked.
"You're looking at that site again, aren't you?" he said to me a few minutes ago. "I could hear the moans and squeals from outside."
He wasn't susceptible to the cute, like, at all. Maybe men---or only straight men?---really are immune. Maybe they are as cute resistant as I formerly aspired to be. It's possible. I once offered Rumcove an armful of baby kittens, and he waved them all away dismissively! "I don't want those," he said, even though he was in an awful mood and really needed an armful of kittens..
As for me, I've relinquished my cute-resistance forever. I am now compelled to seek my daily hit of cuteness. I feel better about my insane response now that I've read the site's useful explication of the "Rules of Cuteness (TM)." You might want to start there to get yourself oriented to the revelations of cuteness waiting to burst upon you. Start slowly. Try to stay in control.
It's not easy. Just for example, just look at this. And how about this? Or this? Can you deal with these? Or these? Can you look at this without melting into a puddle of cuteness-saturated pleasure? Isn't this the cutest thing you ever, ever, ever saw in your life? (Be sure and read the commentary!)
If you are still able to function after checking out those links, you are probably ready for the full cuteness experience.
Of course, to get the full benefit of this site, you must read the very funny commentary by Meg Frost. Her interpolations infinitely enhance and embellish the depth and richness of the whole cuteness overload (TM!!!) experience. The comments of readers are usually very funny as well!
When you feel strong enough and are sure you're ready, experience the triple threat of Cute Overload's "Cuteness Trifecta (TM)."
Aaaaaagh! Must....resist...the---cute....
Ahem. Back now! I recommend this site for anyone too oppressed by the daily grind to feel up to enjoying life's more majestic splendors. Hell, I recommend it for anyone. The note accompanying this photograph shows that the site can be effective as a tonic against some of life's grimmer obligations. As one of Salinger's character remarked in a moment of deep spiritual drama, "There are some nice things out there." And many of them can be seen at Cute Overload (TM). Go on, relish the cuteness! I mean, resist...resist...resist....resist....
So on behalf of the world's cuteness-deprived, thank you, Cute Overload (TM)! I mean: curse you for your nefarious exploitation of a confirmed cynic's susceptibilities!
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Images © 2006 Jupiterimages Corporation. Used pursuant to license from Animation Factory.com.
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