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  The Compleat Flat
Letters, e-mails, pomes, and essays of a curious nature......
Last updated:
4/4/2005; 3:54:27 PM


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Thursday, March 10, 2005


FOX NEWS never answers anything I send em.
___________________________


Dear Sir or Madam:

 First of all, it was a danged chore tryin’ to find how to contact you guys…..  What is that ‘contact us’ type font size?  About 1 and ½?

 But I finally found you guys and now that I’m in here and I’m happy, so I just want to ask two questions.

 1.   Bill O’Reilly said after that sexual lawsuit was filed that the Maskris girl and her lawyers had ‘picked on the wrong guy’.  But I think that they picked on the right guy if they was lookin’ for a settlement.  He settled today, right?  So was he the wrong guy or the right guy?  Ask ole Bill what happened there and let me know.

2.  Are you gonna include the “Smoking Gun website” legal documents in Bill’s bio so us folks don’t have to look for em all over the web?  That’ll help everybody get a picture of what this stuff was all about in the first place.

 Thanks for your good work.  I really like two of your guys, Neil Cavuto and Shep…….

 Now after you fire O’Reilly, I think he might make a pretty good sex advisor.  That’s a hot occupation right now and based on the stuff I see on the internet web, it looks like he has a knack for it, too. There are a lot of folks who want to know about ‘sexual hopes, activities, and possibilities’.  Ole Bill could help em discover them possibilities if he wants.  I just read a big internet article about it today.  Give whatever outplacement firm you hire to help him find another job the real facts and he is gonna end up just OK, I bet.

Sincerely,
Flatline Hutchison

PS  Would you guys consider changin’ that Fair and Balanced thing to another tag line I thought of that is better?

PSS  Can you tell me what branch of the military service Bill O’ Reilly served in?  And what war, too?


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Last update: 4/4/2005; 3:54:28 PM.
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