31 Good Things About Turning 31.
Today is the big three-one for me, and I'm feeling a mite old. Someone suggested to me that I make a list of all the good things that I will face/experience as a result of my new age, or simply things that are fun about that number. Here goes:
31. I can make horrible, doomsday-type statements about being 31 to my 30 year-old friends, and freak them out. And they will believe me for a whole year!
30. I now know that doomsday statements made to me by my 31 year-old friends are complete crap.
29. Supposedly, women in their mid-thirties are in their prime, and baby....I'm inching closer.
28. Current eighth-graders were just being born when I graduated high school. Which means that a bunch of the girls in my graduating class (who got pregnant that year now have eighth-graders). And I don't. Yes!
27. Getting called a 'cougar' more often by my former staffers will sure be fun....hoo, boy. Not that I'm a cougar...more of a penguin.
26. Creepy 40 year-old men who like younger women now consider me "too old". Yes!
25. I can now live here!
24. This is how Jackson Pollock would have seen me!
23. Baskin Robbins. Need I say more?
22. Suddenly, I am an interesting age!
21. Cameron Diaz became the best-paid actress in Hollywood and started dating Justin Timberlake at 31. Surely it must have something to do with how old she was....
20. This is my competition.
19. People find this to be a great age in some odd ways.
18. If I am feeling Anthony Robbins-esque, I can call my age 'Thirty WON!"
17. Lark Voorhies, Tiffani Thiessen and Mark-Paul Gosselar (Saved By The Bell), and Ryan Seacrest (American Idol) are the same age as I am. That, if nothing else, should make me proud. (I am not the most cheesy 31 year-old on the planet. I knew it!)
16. Derek Jeter, Paul Kariya, Steve Nash, Jimmy Fallon, Christian Bale, Leonardo Di Caprio, Tim Henman and D'Angelo were born the same year I was. That means I have dibs.
15. I will remember the lengths of months like January and July with greater facility.
14. Ain't no one gonna laugh no more when I feel the rain comin' in my joints. Cuz I be old now.
13. People no longer dip below 25 in estimating my actual age.
12. There are no goldfish as old as I am. I outlived all the goldfish.
11. Cuzin' Al is still at it, and so am I.
10. I could still hit it out of the park.
9. I've had ten years to appreciate how totally cool it was to be 21.
8. Well, there are worse ways to spend 31 years.
7. I am old enough to realize that there is no shame in drinking decaf now and again.
6. I have little lines around my eyes that mean I've been smiling for 31 years. And squinting, true, but whatever. Smiling.
5. This is what a 31 year old writer looks like. I, personally, am really looking forward to a year of collecting Barbie Dolls and 'Revolutionary War Re-Enacting'.
4. My mom and dad still love me. And let me tell you...I've been a pain in the ass a good portion of these last 31 years.
3. I could potentially piss them off for another 31!
2. I've gone 31 years without leaving North America, which is insanity. I have, however, set myself a fresh birthday goal of making it to 31 totally untouched-by-Meg countries in the next 31 years.
1. I still have my heart, my brain, all my fingers and toes, my sense of humour, and my tonsils. Which means I will continue to love, think, type/write, walk about, laugh and yell, at least for the time being. For those abilities, I can only be thankful.
A conversation to close with:
(01:16:19) Tom: happy belated birthday
(01:16:30) Tom: <:o)
(01:16:31) Meg: Belated?
(01:16:34) Meg: It's today.
(01:16:37) Tom: well, by an hour
1:18:27 AM 
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