Me.
In my mind's eye, I have a swagger...a swagger born of breezy
confidence, belonging to a gal adorned in tulip skirts and kitten heels
and glossy curls like the very embodiment of unbridled sass.
In the mirror, I'm wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and flip-flops. I think
if I tried to swagger, I'd trip over my own legs. This is probably why
my sass remains unbridal-ed.
***
My inner me greets everyone with a fiesty little wink and a good word, and always knows just what to say.
My outer me went to staff meeting today, and when her turn came to
report on her current projects, she sneezed. And as she bent to quell
said sneeze, her fly unzipped, and remained as such as she said, and I
quote: "Gosh!"
And then they moved on to the next person.
***
My inner me churns out pages and pages of witty, wise, crystal-clear prose.
My outer me turned mid-word to speak to her supervisor, left a
finger on the keyboard, and ended up typing 3 pages of 'ooooooo' while
she wondered why said supervisor was giving her such a strange look
("Is it my fly again?").
***
My inner me is a bombshell.
My outer me is a mushroom cloud.
***
Will the twain ever meet?
And will it be Mark.... or Shania?
***
The reality is, some of us are swans, and some of us are penguins.
Some of us glide gracefully through moonlit ponds, and some of us
bounce along ice floes like bowling pins at Senior's League Night.
While some days I'd like to elongate my neck, and fluff my snowy
white wings, most of the time I'm happy to waddle away from the polar
bears.
***
My inner me says, "C'mon, girl, show 'em what you got!"
My outer me says, "Eh, after I get a coffee."
9:42:07 PM 
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