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Wednesday, June 22, 2005
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oooh! oooh! 350+ hits!
My first big day in blogland (not as big as Birdie's, but I'm proud of
her!). Thanks for reading, everyone. I don't know who most of you are,
but hello and bless your hearts anyhow! I'll keep writing if you keep
reading! And if you're just lurking, say hello (and whatever else you
like!) in the comments, just this once...it's always nice to know who's
about...
Speak up!
7:04:23 PM 
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small rant in five easy steps.
1.
Why, oh why do people speak loudly into their cell phones on commuter
buses? We're all trying to get home, the damn thing is packed to the
gills, and some girl in her early twenties is informing her friend
about a) how drunk she got the previous night, b) how she is
considering breaking up with her boyfriend to 'hook it up' with one of
the interns at her workplace; and c) how she is PMSing to the point of
homicidal hysteria. I understand the use of cell phones for relaying
emergency information or scheduling facts or work issues in tight
spaces; I mean, sometimes life doesn't wait until you get off the
magical coach of horror. But that stuff? Could it not wait until you
de-bus? An elderly woman asked her to keep her voice down, to which the
young woman replied, "The bus is too loud; they can't hear me." To
which approximately 15 of us replied, "Well, we sure can!"
She proceeded to tell her friend that the 'silence nazis' were making her turn off her phone. Which brings me to my next point:
2.
How come people who are sticklers/firm on some point or other/convinced
of their opinions/big on rules/perfectly reasonable about wanting you
not to discuss your ovaries loudly on a cell phone are automatically
'nazis' now? I realize that people who get all overheated over
punctuation love to be called 'grammar nazis', and that the Seinfeld
'Soup Nazi' thing was a big push for the casual use of the term, but I
honestly think it needs to stop. Nazis were a very specific political
group responsible for some exceptionally horrible things that had
nothing to do with dangling participles or minestrone. It's a
minimization of a loaded word that shouldn't ever have become unloaded.
From my perspective, a nazi should remain a reprehensible thing to be,
and the word should stay unminimized by the jaded babble of popular
culture. I understand how groups nowadays like to reclaim awful terms
to use in an ironic sense, and thus defang them. But why would we ever
want to defang that word, ironically or otherwise? Six million unjust
deaths seem like a good enough reason to make sure it stays an
unironic, powerful epithet for...oh, I don't know...the rest of
eternity. They still exist, you know. I'd hate for them to think we
didn't notice they were evil anymore.
3. I am turning into the
Hunter S. Thompson of allergy medications. I feel like the trip gets
stranger and stranger every day. This morning, I awoke right when my
alarm went off, feeling a little drowsy from my nighttime anti-sniffle
meds, and as I swung my legs out of bed...and this is my best
estimation of what occurred, because I don't remember...I fell asleep
again, spontaneously. I woke up, sitting upright, approximately 25
minutes later. If that wasn't startling enough, my daytime formula
allergy medication caused me to try to depart the elevator this morning
before the doors actually opened (ouch), and drool very slightly during
my stand-up meeting at 8:07 am. What do they PUT in this stuff? How can
I be this high, and still be sneezing? Someone save me from myself and these evil antihistamines.
4. I just don't know
about the peasant look. Something in my heart tells me that if it seems
two sizes too big and two feet too long, it probably is. If you look at
yourself in the mirror, and feel like you should be selling flowers in
airports, it's time to consider something a bit more tailored.
5.
The Krispy Kreme donut I ate today absolutely sucked. I don't know why.
But it tasted like candy that came from the bottom of someone's
grandma's purse. Like molasses and hairspray and Ben-Gay. I felt
cheated. All those calories to have a weird taste in my mouth for two
hours.
Edit for Pandora: LONG LIVE TIM HORTON'S! And for the Deep Cove
residents: LONG LIVE HONEY'S DONUTS! And, in a nod to my childhood,
LONG LIVE SUNSHINE DONUT (Edmonton, AB). The best donuts you ever had
after a trip to see the library iguana.
Okay, done.
5:46:38 PM
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© Copyright
2005
Meg Fowler.
Last update:
7/1/2005; 12:53:13 AM.
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