let your heart squish if it needs to.
I have seen so much in the past few days
(months...years) that makes my heart sink. There are a million
impossibly horrible things going on at any given moment. I look at the
news, and all I can think to do is weep, because it's
unimaginably awful, the nightmare that some people live in. And whether
I know them or not, I am devastated.
Pain exists in others' lives on a level I cannot comprehend.
Yet when
people make jokes about the pain that others face or make light of any
aspect of tragedy, or choose instead to dissolve into blame, hate and
fear as a response to trauma, I think -- do you know what you're doing?
You are chipping away a little portion of your own soul.
And I, personally, need every inch of my soul that's there.
I am not ignorant enough to believe that love always conquers all, that people will always do
the right thing in the end, or that platitudes and empty expressions
help anyone but the person expressing them. And sometimes you need to
be angry to get things done. And fear is not something any of us can
deny feeling -- it echoes like an alarm in a canyon.
But tonight, so I can pray hard and then go to
sleep -- because my perpetually awake state helps no one, and does no
favours for my perspective -- I tried to think of songs I could sing as
lullabies to myself that would bring me some measure of comfort and
joy. And here are the two that came to me, so I wanted to share.
Both hold significant meanings for me right now, though I'm not sure why.
I look at the world around me, and sometimes I feel guilty for my
warm bed and my full belly and my family and friends and my job and my
life. I feel guilty that I ever think I'm stressed or hard done-by.
In those moments, I feel too guilty to laugh or dance.
But then I remember that a descent into flailing grief about the
state of the planet is really nothing but self indulgent. Rather, to
make any change, I should work on my hope, on my drive to see positive
change occur, and on my ability to extend grace and love to others. And
I should act on all those things, and take them from philosophy to
reality
I can be angry forever and change a few things with the raw energy I
find in hate, or I can love well, and change myself and the world.
When I think about it that way, how dare I do anything but love?
Sing if you want. I am.
****
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.
Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.
Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
lennon/mccartney
****
Let us turn our thoughts today
To Martin Luther King
And recognize that there are ties between us
All men and women
Living on the earth
Ties of hope and love
Sister and brotherhood
That we are bound together
In our desire to see the world become
A place in which our children
Can grow free and strong
We are bound together
By the task that stands before us
And the road that lies ahead
We are bound and we are bound
There is a feeling like the clenching of a fist
There is a hunger in the center of the chest
There is a passage through the darkness and the mist
And though the body sleeps the heart will never rest
(chorus)
Shed a little light, oh lord
So that we can see
Just a little light, oh lord
Wanna stand it on up
Stand it on up, oh lord
Wanna walk it on down
Shed a little light, oh lord
Can’t get no light from the dollar bill
Don’t give me no light from a tv screen
When I open my eyes
I wanna drink my fill
From the well on the hill
(do you know what I mean? )
- chorus -
There is a feeling like the clenching of a fist
There is a hunger in the center of the chest
There is a passage through the darkness and the mist
And though the body sleeps the heart will never rest
Oh, let us turn our thoughts today
To Martin Luther King
And recognize that there are ties between us
All men and women
Living on the earth
Ties of hope and love
Sister and brotherhood
taylor
****
I challenge every one of you to love well today. Love hard. Do
something to make your love obvious. Dream big of ways to make your
love felt, and think of practical steps to make those dreams come true.
And when you feel the anger and darkness welling up -- and it is
a part of every one of us -- choose to act in love anyhow. It's hard.
We usually make everything political and polar before we even try to
connect the dots.
But if you can manage it, I guarantee -- even in this big scary world -- you will sleep better at night.
Even I will -- maybe.
11:33:58 PM 
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