you really got a hold on me
That's Olivia -- gorgeous daughter of gorgeous Brad and Jaime -- and
me, when she was a bit younger than she is now. Maybe two summers ago?
She's still beautiful, though -- her mom just sent some pictures a few
days ago that show her off in all her little-one glory.
I love this picture because of how peaceful -- almost pensive,
bordering on melancholic -- her face looks. She was sleepy when the
picture was taken, and her glances were headed nowhere in particular.
But she looks so beautiful, so pure, so round with health -- the
perfect baby. I'm a freckled, windblown mess, but she is serene.
I'm a baby person. I don't have one, but almost everyone else I know
does, so I've been able to indulge my hang-out-with-kids desires for
years and years without ever having to settle down and procreate.
They have an odd power over me, those small people. I mean, small
things often do, but never in such a pleasant way. Mosquitos are small,
but they leave big bites. Germs are small, but they create horrible
illnesses. Viagra pills are small, but....wait, I'm not going there.
The reality is, those tiny hands take ahold of my heart, and I am done for.
I rang in the New Year this very year -- at a party full of people
my own age -- dancing with a very small, very new baby in my arms,
crooning Ella Fitzgerald tunes for him, and swaying in a dimly lit room
where the noise of the party was faint. I was giving his mom a break so
that she could enjoy the party, but the reality was that I love rocking
babies to sleep, and I'm damn good at it, so I was destined to
volunteer for the task.
I've been handed children in all states of discontent over the past
twenty years so that I could 'work my magic', and I've only failed to
soothe them to slumber a handful of times. I'm not sure what it is
about me, other than that I believe that I am only truly still or truly
peaceful when you set a baby in my arms. Otherwise? Total fidget. With
baby? I become a quilt.
Still, they know that they're actually the ones in charge. They just
let me believe I'm settling them down, when really, they're just
showing mercy on my bouncing hips and gently singing lips and
acknowledging that when a girl has worked through the entire Beatles
catalog, it's time to let those eyes flutter a little.
I've got a wicked temper. I can swear like a sailor. I read
ridiculous fashion magazines. I argue politics with vitriol. I sleep
odd hours, drink too much coffee, and like my music loud. I've been
known to high-stick. I'm not even all that nice.
But I am also a universal mom. I can't remember which blood type it
is that is the universal donor, but I believe that there's a type that
most people can handle in a transfusion in a pinch, if their type isn't
available.
In the same way, I can love pretty much any kid, because at the core
of my being, that's what I believe they need, deserve, and crave more
than anything else.
The other day, on the ol' commuter bus, there was a near-toddler
having a mild meltdown in hs stroller. Nothing seemed to be of comfort,
from soft toy to sippy cup, not to mention the weird faces of the old
man who was trying to entertain him across the aisle.
His mom looked like she was ready to crawl out of her skin. I've
seen that face before on almost every mom I know. I know my mom went
through it.
At times, on the phone with me, she still does.
So, I felt compelled to assist. I leaned over, offered him my pinky
finger, and proceeded to do the eye-closing-suggestion trick. All you
do is make very intentional eye contact. Sure kids close their eyes
when they cry, but they also open them now and then to see how you're
dealing with it.
And I was just focused, patiently waiting. As soon as he looked in
my eyes, I mimicked the fluttery eye movements of someone falling
asleep. He was transfixed for a moment, and then his own eyelids began
to feel heavy. almost magically.
In a moment or two, he was gone.
I have no idea why it worked that quickly. His mother was flabbergasted.
"That's a hell of a trick. You got kids?"
"Nope. I've worked with them for a long time, though."
"Well, you got a gift, girl. Don't you waste it." I smiled at this.
I'd heard it before. Everyone thinks I will have housefuls of children
because of how natural I feel around them, but who knows what will
happen?
Life is unpredictable, and as yet, I'm not ready to take it on
without a nice man in a wedding ring -- er, one that I gave him -- in
the picture.
"Yeah, I might have kids one day. Who knows." I smiled down at the little one, and the mom spoke again.
"Oh, honey, I couldn't care less if you have kids. Do what you want
with that. But you're sure as hell gonna come sleep on my damn couch
from now on, though. You're on duty tonight!!"
11:10:06 PM 
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