Sunday, October 2, 2005

when I think of being small I think of a sore neck always craning upward little arms trying to pull myself up onto legs that just aren't sure. when I think of being a bit bigger I think of sore fingers learning to hold crayons and pencils little arms reaching for blocks and sticks to build towers that just aren't sure. when I think of being bigger yet I think of sore feet from running far and running fast little arms held out to keep balance as I explore paths that just aren't sure. when I think of being nearly this big I think of a sore heart from loving without thinking first arms going to hold someone close only to find out they just aren't sure. when I think of being just exactly this big I think of a sore stomach from laughing so hard I can't breathe arms reaching out for what lies ahead even when my plans just aren't sure. when I think of being bigger still I think of a sore body from living well and fully arms reaching up, just in case my old legs, they just aren't sure. 9:37:04 PM    well, yes, but...  [] Okay, Scott, I'm finally getting around to it. Not only that, but I'm displacing the kitten picture to do it. And that picture made me laugh for about half an hour. Mr. Sweptover himself tagged me with this meme. I will not tag another. But I shall face the challenge, courage in hand. 5 things I plan to do before I die: Write at least one book (I just pasted that one over!) Marry someone I love See more than twenty other countries Create my own home Make one truly great joke 5 things I can do: (most days) My hair My work Make a great dinner Rudimentary HTML Make people feel loved. 5 things I cannot do: (. . . well, ever) Swear at my mother Ignore the hockey game Stop writing Say goodbye well Eat blue food 5 things that attract me to other people: (I just like these kinds of people.) Wisdom Strength Grace Humor Intelligence 5 things I say most often: What's the deadline? Did you get my email? I love you I miss you Are you serious? 5 celebrity crushes: Gerard Butler Gabriel Macht Paul Newman Jon Stewart John Cusack There, that should satisfy you, eh, Scott? And I know, Lauralea, you have one for me, too. I'll get to it, I will. 8:37:20 PM    well, yes, but...  [] today's Joni Mitchell lyrics that aren't currently true for me but still made me cry like a baby in the coffee shop -- which should have embarassed me, but I feel so at home near coffee... It's coming on Christmas, They're cutting down trees. They're putting up reindeer And singing songs of joy and peace, Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on. But it don't snow here, Stays pretty green. I'm gonna make a lot of money And and then I'm gonna quit this crazy scene. Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on. I wish I had a river so long, I would teach my feet to fly. Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on. I made my baby cry. You tried hard to help me, You know, you put me at ease. And you loved me so naughty, It made me weak in the knees. Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on. I'm so hard to handle, I'm selfish and I'm sad. Now I've gone and lost the best baby That I've ever had. Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on. I wish I had a river so long, I would teach my feet to fly. Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on. I made my baby say goodbye. It's coming on Christmas, They're cutting down trees. They're putting up reindeer And singing songs of joy and peace, I wish I had a river I could skate away on. She sings like how I imagine some angels do. She writes beautifully and truly and honestly. I don't know that I could have appreciated this song ten years ago, but at 31, it's absolutely heartbreaking. In a good way. I can be selfish and sad and hard to handle -- without a doubt -- but in my heart I know that I learn to be a better friend, better future wife, and better almost anything as time goes by. And I always want to be this honest and more. Even when it hurts. 12:55:39 PM    well, yes, but...  []

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