Tuesday, October 11, 2005

gimmick, anyone? So, the audience is split. Some of you would have me blog blithely on and let the other hacks try and generate 50,000 cohesive words in a row, while some of you think I should give it a shot. As usual, it appears I'll have to make my own decision -- and we all know what happens when I do that. Can you guys try for consensus next time? Thanks. Like, phone around or something? Anyhow, now I'm truly torn. I know how much I have to generate in a day in terms of reasonable text for work and I figure if I was going to go all novel on myself in addition, I'd have to halt blogging for the month. I mean, I guess I could post a portion of the novel daily as some sort of a spoiler/serial, but I know it wouldn't make any sense, and you'd all weigh in with changes, and I'd want to make those changes, and... and... and... it just wouldn't get done. And hearing me stress endlessly about being stuck at 34,457 words would get really tired after a while, I assure you. The truth is, I know I'd miss blogging more than I'd enjoy the noveling, as good an exercise as it might be for me. And I also know the conceit of having characters comment on the authorship and structuring of the novel has been done before -- I mean, everyone from Dave Eggers to James Joyce to Laurence Sterne has worked the self-conscious narration thing to one degree or another. Who am I to think I could rock it quite so handily or wittily? I mean, I have already abandoned poor Chad and Lola to one anothers' arms: "Chad? Honey?" "Yes, Lola?" "Is she going to come back? I have to pee." "I don't know, sweetheart. She's been gone a while. She said something about work and blogging, and I think she needed to make some phone calls? She promised to check back in, though." "Do you think she will? I mean, I can't hold it forever, Chad." "Well, you have to, baby... I mean, the ink will run..." You see? I'm a cold and heartless author with no love for my protagonists. People like me shouldn't be left alone with novels. Unless we're reading them, curled up in a blanket and in possession of a really, really big latte. 9:48:02 PM    well, yes, but...  [] nanoo nanoo So, I have now received five emails telling me that I should do this. I think it's a fabulous idea -- I'm willing to bet that it inflames a lot of otherwise reticent writers to get a start on their life's work... their Great Whatever-Country-They're-From Novel. Thing is, I'm really doubtful as to whether or not I have a novel in me. See, between the writing I do at work and the blogging I do at home (and I'm a pretty good updater -- the blog rarely lies fallow for long), I'm doing a whack of writing daily. I only have so many cells to devote to this process before I start drooling or forgetting how to use common household objects (editor's note: wasn't that you, Meg, trying to brush your teeth with the blowdryer this morning? writer's note: ah, point taken. it is too late.) For this reason, I am somewhat concerned that I would begin the process, and die out about 10,000 words into the process. And then the novel would start to read something like this: "Oh, Chad," she said, eyes filling with tears. "Yes?" His gaze was tender, but unsure. "I really don't know what to say to you anymore." A sob choked the last couple of words, and she buried her face in her slender hands. He crossed the room as though in one step and took her in his arms. "I know, Lola, I know... it's because Meg keeps going for coffee and forgetting about our dialogue." With this, the two clung together, united in a lack of purpose and a dearth of text. Yeah. So. It's not that I don't love to write, and write at length. It's just that my ideas and characterizations end up rather -- well, how do I say this nicely -- sparse if I try and do more than I normally do. Is there a way to combat this? I know the Zadie Smiths and Dave Eggerses of this world pull it off with brilliance, but how? How? How can I be creative on a grand scale with a couple hours a day and wispy notions? Are there just some writers that aren't meant to write novels? Am I making lame heaps of excuses? Would anyone like some tea? 6:57:17 AM    well, yes, but...  []

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