Friday, November 25, 2005

going, going... gone. Just gone. My wallet. By theft or loss -- but hopefully just loss. Though I don't have a clue how. All my ID, my Birth Certificate, my cheques, my pay stubs, my bank cards, baby pictures of my friends' little ones, my old university IDs, my air miles cards, and a significant amount of cash (significant to me)... everything that you'd expect to find in a wallet. And it's gone. No one has seen it, no one can find it, no one has turned it in. It departed my bag at some point between 5:30 pm last night and 9 am this morning. And I was quite a few places in between, but no one at any of those locations seems to have come across my little red Filofax Kensington Organizer wallet. Bank cards have been cancelled, so that's okay to some degree, but the cash, the little slips of Megness, the documentation of my history in card form -- I won't be able to replace those things. The wallet itself was one I bought when I got my first full-time job -- it was pricey, but it was an investment in my future, right? And I loved the feel of the soft crimson leather. I'm startled at how violated I feel by the loss. I'm startled at how insecure I feel with some of those items out of my hands. And I'm more than a little angry at the money, because it doesn't grow on trees. More than anything, though, I know that OCD Meg, who has been quite normal about such things for quite a while, is going to rear her kooky head in the light of these events. I already found myself checking after my keys and bus pass (miraculously not in my wallet at the time) multiple times an hour. What a dork. Oh well. Can't win 'em all. 8:51:10 PM    well, yes, but...  [] on the other hand... Well, Little Miss Cheerypants (that's me, in case you didn't realize -- and I don't blame you if you don't) has had her shower this morning and has finally opened her wee milky-white laptop to see what she wrote last night in the midst of her semi-operatic angst. And in a miraculously reality-devoted moment, she's leaving it there. Yes, I do like to delete my grouchy posts. I know that's horribly revisionist. And you know I don't claim to be perfect. I just don't always like to fly the poopypants flag quite so high in the sky. But that one shall stay, just as a reminder to me of three things: Ooooh, you can be grouchy. Sometimes you just have to let people see how grouchy you are, because that's honest. If you post grouchy at night, you must post rollickingly cheerful words in the a.m. And I am going to post cheerful words -- and not just because I felt like the most dismal character in a Mamet play last night. I'm going to post them because somewhere, somehow, some of you are still on holiday and it behooves me to offer you the cyberequivalent of a strawberry daquiri by the pool. So: REASONS TO GO ON: This. Mark, who sent me the above link, and always cheers me without fail when I pop up a crabby post. Click on the Panda Cam link to your left. Spend five minutes watching. See if you can stop after five minutes. The fact that I'm now laughing into the silence of my morning household because it took me two minutes to figure out which was my right and which was my left. Because it makes me giggle until I feel lightheaded. Tomorrow, my mother makes me a dress. Because even the worst things can be made to seem rather jolly. I shall make salsa tonight. Somewhere, a goldfish is being overfed -- and not that I support overfeeding goldfish, because they explode -- but I dig goldfish because they just take what life offers them and fill up their gilly little cheeks (do goldfish have cheeks?) as much as they can. If you sprinkle foodflakes, they will seize them with fishy vigour. I am going to be inspired by said goldfish today and gobble up what life offers me. Tonight, I shall watch a Christmas movie with my father -- a man who loves Christmas things nearly as much as I do, though he is far more cool about it and has never worn a stuffed antler headband to his job at a coffee shop, leading everyone to make the same joke when they saw him: "Oh, DEER, you've got something sticking out of your head." Good morning, y'all. Keep at it. Because I say so. 6:47:30 AM    well, yes, but...  []

© Copyright 2006 Meg Fowler. Last update: 3/4/06; 2:30:20 PM.