Monday, February 13, 2006

new week's resolutions. Finish every cup of coffee I pour, instead of drinking the first half, letting it get cold, tasting it, making a face, and dumping it out to get more. Organize my freaking stuff before it eats me in my sleep. Buy a pair of shoes that don't flip or flop. Find a way to convince the Alien to emerge. Go to bed before midnight at least two days. Watch me some Olympics with a cup o' cocoa. Play Yahtzee with Catherine. Stop checking email in the middle of the night. Leave my house on time (well, not this morning...) Email something encouraging and/or inappropriate to everyone I love. And yours? 7:01:14 AM    well, yes, but...  [] wuv, twoo wuv. Tonight, I was at a party full of couples and babies, drawn together to celebrate my roommate's engagement. Which is a great occasion, to say the least. And the people were great, too. Now -- for those of you who are either new to this blog or completely oblivious (two states I both respect and affirm) -- I'm not in a couple. I don't have a baby, either. Except everyone elses'. I'm cool with these facts. Truly. But it's funny to see how people navigate my singleness, in the most well-meaning ways. When I hold babies, they smile wistfully and reassure me that I will have my own. When they discuss their relationships, they make sure that I feel empowered to seek out my soulmate, whomever he may be. Because we all have one. Right? Don't we? Should we worry about it? Probably not. In an odd twist of events, the older I get, the less I'm consumed with the questions or the possibilities. I'm not hung up on the pursuit. And I'm certainly not consumed with ideals. I might love the notion of romance and the soundtrack of romance and all the trappings, but I know that there is no such thing as a flawless relationship. There are choices and hard work and inspiration and passion and hope. And that's it. There is no "one." Maybe effort, maybe chemistry, maybe desire. Maybe all of those things. But a lid for your pot? A piece to complete your puzzle? The sun shining through your cloud? Nah. There are songs and dances and memories made together and evenings out and stars and kisses, sure. At the end of the day, though, you decide to make it work. Because nobody's perfect and nobody's right all the time. As long as humans are humans and we remain unpredictable in our needs and whims, we will fall in love and still go to sleep now and then slightly pissed off. I look forward to it. If it happens. If anyone chooses to put up with Meg Fowler: Pain In The Ass. I'm of a mind to suggest that having someone you care enough to be angry at is one of the surest ways to tell that you're not alone in this big old world. As crazy as that might sound. Whenever my friends come to me -- me! -- for relationship advice, I eventually have to raise the white flag and claim massive levels of ignorance. I don't know! How does anyone know? How is anyone ever sure of anything? But then I end up giving ignorant advice (or as Nancy calls it, assvice) anyhow, because that's just how I am. And here's my advice (assvice): You don't always have to be right. Or get to be. Going to bed angry is not the end of the world. Accepting anger as a way of life might be, though. Sometimes, you're actually the jackass. He really does love your body. No foolin'. And vice versa. The colour of the living room is not grounds for divorce. You might have married into a family, but you didn't marry them. Never fight before you go to a party. If you feel it coming on, agree to drop it. And drop it. Past relationships are not a blueprint. They're just what you did before. Dance at stupid times. At the very least, you'll get a laugh. Being an hour late is actually really disrespectful the 100th time you do it. Or the 10th. Have you told them that? Drama is something that is good on TV and horrible in the car. You need not merge CD collections. Don't freak out if you don't cherish the same memories. If you can't think of something nice to say, say something funny. Your mom is not always the best tech support hotline for your marital woes. She's biased. You need not watch the same TV shows. Cook together, though. Learn to listen NOW. Shutting up is an excellent first step. Snoring can cause more problems than you think. Go see the damn doctor. You don't have to tell your friends everything. Real or artificial might be a big deal for boobs, but it ain't for Christmas trees. Let it go. You can live without the Douglas Fir if it makes him sneeze. The cat will not be scarred for life if you kick it off the bed now and then. I love love. But I know it doesn't come without sacrifice. It better not come without laughter. And that's all I know. 12:44:33 AM    well, yes, but...  []

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