Sunday, February 19, 2006

that's not a microphone, that's a beverage. You can learn a lot at one of my parties. Maybe not about astrophysics and the Pythagorean theorum, but maybe just about having a good time. Last night, I hosted Catherine's Two-Month-Late Birthday Party and Housewarming Celebration. It took us most of the night just to get through the title. Here's a little synopsis: What We Ate: Okay, I'm not going to tell you the whole menu. I'm going to ask Catherine (currently to my left) what she enjoyed the most: "Chocolate-covered strawberries, chocolate-covered macaroons, chocolate-covered men -- oh, wait, that's just a joke. Homemade spinach dip, homemade bruschetta, and... the beverages, which double as microphones. Until they spill." What We Listened To: A sampling, really. Let's both recall our hit songs of the night: Catherine: Moonlight Desires -- Gowan (Catherine notes: "Best 80's song EVER...") L-O-V-E -- Ashleeeee Simpson 867-5309 -- Tommy Tutone Signs -- Snoop Dogg and Justin Timberlake Right Before Your Eyes -- America (We slow-danced to this one...) Toxic -- Britney Spears (story to follow...) No Scrubs -- TLC Stacey's Mom -- Fountains of Wayne Meg: Superstition -- Stevie Wonder Golddigger -- Kanye West ft. Jamie Foxx (Who doesn't want prenup?) Bad Boy -- Keshia Chante (What was I saying about prenup?) Miss Independent -- Kelly Clarkson (I think I'm developing a theme here...) Touch the Sky -- Kanye West Sunday Morning -- Maroon 5 (Because, eventually, it was...) Stairway To Heaven -- Led Zeppelin (okay, that's a joke... but every dance I went to in high school ended with that song) Who Came: Holly: Catherine's ex-roommate, who left her damn glitter EVERYWHERE. Kerry: Our current third musketeer, and the first arrival. She was worn out from a day of snowboard shopping. OH BOO HOO. Jeff: The "fiance." Bobby: Catherine's brother's dear friend, who is also in an ultra-cool band with him, the New Complaints. Look for them on myspace.com, but only them, and not creepy teenage girls. Mark: Catherine's brother, and official guitar god. Drew: The guy we thought WOULD NOT COME. But he came. I mean... he arrived at the party. Devin: Catherine's old friend (she's not old, but they have history) and official fashion goddess of the night, and the wife of... Ryan: THE HAIR. WE BOW DOWN. We feared it would attempt WORLD DOMINATION. But instead it just... COIFFED. Catherine: The party girl... really. Meg: The hostess with the mostest (I nearly just typed hotness... I'm cool with that.) The Ambience: Candles Lights Flowers Ryan's hair Memorable Moments: Jeff dancing to Britney Spears with a beverage in his hand and a bowl of BBQ chips in the other. What you need to understand is that Jeff and Kerry have been on South Beach (not because they need it, but what the hell... engaged people are freaks... ) and South Beach forbids BBQ chips. Jeff had the carb-glazed expression of a man who had fallen in love all over again. Bobby leading a singalong to the Mr. Big hit (hello, was he not like THREE when it was released?) "I'm The One Who Wants To Be With You." It was a video-worthy moment, except that no one caught it on video. It's too bad, too, because we're totally going to blackmail them both when they're famous. Catherine attempting to turn a beverage into a microphone and then responding in shock when said microphone spilled all over her. Ryan's hair. Devin's shoes. Ryan's tapered jeans. Devin's sweater dress. Ryan's velour jacket. Holly's DAMN SPARKLES. The uncovering of a devious plot (approximately eleven years old at this point) in which Catherine used Drew to escape a failed romance -- at fourteen. Catherine's decoration of the pretty, pretty patio with LED lights and votives and a touch of love. Meg finally acknowledged that she had to stop preparing for the party, because it was OVER. Meg vacuuming up Holly's DAMN SPARKLES. A random game of Truth or Truth (since everyone was too lazy to Dare.) Check Eric's blog starting Tuesday for the other highlight... Post-Party Thoughts: Catherine: Meg is the best party planner that ever lived (ed's note: she is being charitable, but the strawberries ROCKED.) Next time I need to make friends with more single men to bring to the party (ed's note: Drew is not single. Hi Davina! And Bobby is... a bassist.) We need to do this more often. Meg: A good time was had by all. I enjoyed our iPod playlists and the way they would take the party in weird directions every time a particularly great song came on. Mostly because Jeff would dance or Bobby would sing or Ryan's hair would... just be itself. Seriously. You don't understand. I think my faith increased and I set more life goals just by being in the presence of his hair. You didn't even need to dare it to do anything. It WAS truth. So, all in all, it was a fabbo shindig. And we even tidied up before we went to bed. Just to keep the nerd factor alive. Next year -- though it won't be a housewarming and we'll do the birthday thing on time -- we resolve to do the following: Twister (the single men thing is important there. Playing Twister with your brother... echhh.) Actually sit out on the deck. Invite Ryan's hair. Try offering Ryan's hair a beverage. Tie up the alpacas outside. Yeah. If you have any suggestions, just let us know. And no -- that doesn't mean you're invited. Unless you have really, really good hair. 9:33:26 PM    well, yes, but...  [] mawwage. This is Jeff and Kerry. Kerry is my roommate, and Jeff isn't, though he does own a key to one of the doors (he knocks first, bless his heart.) They're planning a wedding. If you've ever planned a wedding, you know that the process is filled with as many thorns as it is roses, unless you've somehow managed to keep it to a ten-person celebration on the beach in Jamaica, or a five-person affair at City Hall. I've never gotten married, but I've been there for the planning processes of a dozen or so other unions. I've helped wade through the endless lists of decisions and questions, the colour swatches, the fabric options, and the parental input -- not to mention the suggestions from everyone you know about every aspect of every detail from the shoes the groom should wear to the damn font on the invitations. Everyone has an idea of how they want things, whether that idea is full of floral preferences and seating charts, or a big old sign reading, "I JUST DON'T CARE." Either is fine. But even if you don't have an opinion -- well, that's an opinion. And no matter who you are, or who you marry, at some point, you're going to get rankled when you're planning a wedding. Deny it all you like, but I've been through this with all kinds of folks, and it remains true. Unless you are Mother Theresa and a Teletubby and Richard Simmons all rolled into one (at least five of you just stopped reading, and thought, "Is that me?"), it's gonna get pissy. Jeff and Kerry are handling it all rather gracefully, mind you. I'd be throwing fits, and eventually eloping, but they've kept it all together and continued to be thankful for everyone around them. I'll work on being that gracious someday. Maybe. Anyhow, the point of this whole thing is to ask you, the Internet At Large, to share your thoughts on wedded bliss, whether you are happily hooked, oddly yoked, or just plain ornery about the whole thing. Jeff and Kerry didn't ask me to ask, for those of you that know them. I'm just curious.  I'm contributing the Wisdom of the Internet to them as my gift at this point in the process. Because, you, Internet, are not emotionally involved in their wedding. You are cool with whatever. You can speak peacefully and honestly into the whole thing, and if they flip you the bird, you can just move on. So here are my questions (please respond in the comments, if you will...and bear in mind that no, they're not eloping, and yes, they're in love, and no, calling it off or doing it in the Caymans is not an option): What one thing did you do in the process of getting married which was COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY in retrospect? What one thing do you wish you'd done that you didn't do? What's one thing that drove you nuts at someone else's wedding? What is the part of the wedding that you usually enjoy/remember the most? Thanks in advance. I love having all these experts at my fingertips.... :) (and holy crap, are they not cute?) 6:45:15 PM    well, yes, but...  []

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