Monday, April 3, 2006

on any given day. On any given day, I could fall in love. On any given day, I could choose a new favourite song. On any given day, I could lose track of time and forget an errand. On any given day, I could choose a salad instead of a sandwich. On any given day, I could school my face to smile. On any given day, I could forget my umbrella and feel the rain down the back of my neck. On any given day, I could leave it all behind. On any given day, I could choose to take the path through the park. On any given day, I could wake up afraid. On any given day, I could spill my coffee on my sleeve. On any given day, I could lose someone I care about. On any given day, I could forget how the movie ends. On any given day, I could cut off all my hair. On any given day, I could come across something long misplaced. On any given day, I could read something in the paper that changed my mind. On any given day, I could get on a plane. On any given day, I could taste something unusual. On any given day, I could decide that everything was going to be just fine. On any given day, I could actually believe that was true. On any given day, 6 billion out of 6 billion people on this planet don't know just exactly how their lives will pan out. On any given day, at least a few souls in that 6 billion will realize that this is both the best and worst reason to get out of bed in the morning. And on any given day, this 1 in 6 billion will keep on doing it, no matter what. 11:53:27 PM    come again?  [] well, excuuuuuuse me. I was running down the street to grab some coffee today, and my flip flop caught a crack in the sidewalk. At this point, either angels or a sudden jetstream, or my own masterful reflexes caught me before I did a face plant into the ground. A homeless man who was sitting nearby fairly SCREECHED at the top of his lungs, "BE CAREFUL." OK, THEN. I WILL. 7:55:17 PM    come again?  [] leaving the scene. We're moving. Not right away, mind you, but we're moving. Kerry is getting married to Jeff, who not only cooks well, but is tall and can play guitar. (ka-ching! ka-ching! ka-ching!) Catherine and I? Not so much getting married. To one another... or anyone else. For now. Okay, I should clarify: we might marry other people. We will NOT marry one another. (Although we are Costco spouses, since she is listed on my work membership.) (Yes, Mom, my work knows... we're not going to Costco Prison.) (Imagine Costco Prison: sample Dixie cups of Michelina's lasagna just... beyond... the... bars... ) (ANYHOW.) Kerry is moving out, so we're moving on: two single girls on the prowl! Being that Catherine has a ritzy new job and that I could stand to be closer to work (hello, you've heard about the commute... ) we've decided to look for a new place a bit closer to that location. This means that rents might rise a little, but since we're looking for a two bedroom, it should be fine. No, I'm not going to tell you what locations, since, well... this is the Internet. I know you're not creepy, but, well... hold on. Come a little closer. (That guy next to you keeps looking at your screen, and he seems a little... well, you know... ODD. Turn your laptop a little... yep, like that. Okay. Is he looking? Awesome.) THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX, TWERP! (There, that should do it.) (Why did you marry him, anyhow?) In the last few months, our lovely home has slowly started to downgrade into something that belongs on an episode of This Old Decrepit Slightly Smelly Apartment. What's wrong, you ask? Well, allow me to fill you in: The kitchen tap drips incessantly, and apparently CANNOT BE FIXED. The closet doors come off their hinges and act like saloon gates in the Old West The MOTHS. Need I say more? The WOOKIE. Need I say more? The bathroom floor is slowly sinking into the earth and developing lineoleum holes. These lineoleum holes probably let in everything from silverfish to Gremlins. And the last thing I need is a Gremlin in the shower with me. The mold! The MOLD! The hallway ceiling drips when it rains. Did I mention the Wookie already? Yeah? He was up last night. The lobby smells like a roast beef wrapped in marijuana, grilling over a fire made from plastic bottles and pet hair. The carpet has taken on an interesting shade of STOP WALKING ON ME SO MUCH. The heat comes on and off at will. It is not our thermostat's "bitch", no way, no how. I'd call it bi-polar, but I wish it was a little more Polar, quite frankly... We sincerely believe that, one of these days, the bathtub is going to fall through the floor and into some portion of Dante's Inferno. Is that enough for you? I know some people have it much, much worse. We love our location and our space and our ultra-long hallway (great for windsprints!), but we're ready to try something a bit more fresh (rather than ripe.) So what are we looking for? Well, as you'll see, much of it is a reaction to the conditions above: NO MOLD. NO MOTHS. NO RATS. (we don't have rats, but gosh, that's important, regardless) NO MICE. (I lived with mice. I didn't like it.) hardwood floors? or at least newish carpet. solid construction: no drooping, sagging, dripping, or flaking (the floor should not "bounce" in places...) two bedrooms a bathtub (preferably in a bathroom) lots of light (from windows, not long-tube fixtures that flicker...) included utilities a secure door with proper locks insuite laundry (ENOUGH WITH THE COINS) stuff we need within walking distance (or a short drive) What would we LOVE to have, but don't insist on? hardwood floors (see above) a deck or patio of some sort a dishwasher (yeah, yeah) a normal-size fridge exercise facilities a poolboy named Massimo Well, some of them seem possible. Right? Right. Ahem. So this is where we're at. And here's how you can get involved in the GREAT APARTMENT HUNT OF '06: Pay our rent. HAHAHAHA. Okay, okay. If you have any advice for apartment-hunting gals -- things to look for, sneaky ways that landlords hide stuff -- let us know. We've both lived in our share of dwellings, but information is power, right? Tell us about the stupidest apartment you ever lived in. Make us feel good about our standards. Buy a house in Vancouver. Rent it to us. If we don't find a place we like, please send us the box from any major appliance purchase you may have recently made. We'll do it up right nice. Kidding. We're stoked, actually. We know what we want, we're happy to keep living together, and we drive a hell of a hard bargain. Bring on the cretinous and shady landlords! Bring on the illegal suites! Bring on the code violations! Bring on the water damage! Bring on the rent inflation! Bring on the reference checks! We're up for it. WHAT COSTCO HATH JOINED, LET NO MAN PUT ASUNDER. 12:56:09 AM    come again?  []

© Copyright 2006 Meg Fowler. Last update: 5/1/06; 1:35:46 AM.

April 2006
Sun	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat
						1
2	3	4	5	6	7	8
9	10	11	12	13	14	15
16	17	18	19	20	21	22
23	24	25	26	27	28	29
30
Mar   May

it is a very sad thing

that nowadays, there

is so little

useless information.

~ oscar wilde