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This guy's just not right!

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Sunday, April 10, 2005

BREAKING NEWS

Insiders at the Vatican say the leading contender for Pope is

Father Guido Sarducci

Said one Cardinal, "With the decline of Catholicism around the world we knew that what we needed was someone who the youth of the world could relate to, someone who could bring them back into the fold. The Rock critic for the Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano, Father Sarducci, was just the ticket". "Catholics are getting old these days" the unnamed Cardinal said, "we need to reach out to the young." Father Guido is leaning towards Pope Mick I as his name or maybe Keith.

9:35:45 PM      Throw Me A Bone []

REAL MEN OF GENIUS   (Thanks Jack)

voiceover:                Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
male lead vocal:               (Real Men of Genius)
voiceover:                Today we salute you Mr. Big-Ass hummer driver.
male lead vocal:               (Mr. Big-ass hummer driver)
voiceover:                You know that vehicle is never going to see anything but pavement.
male lead vocal:               (please don't hit us!)
voiceover:                We know that all you're doing is driving the biggest station wagon available,
possibly to compensate for some deficiency.
female chorus:               (wow that's small!)
voiceover:       So put on those plaid pants Mr. Mama's boy and get out the step-ladder so
you can climb into your piss-yellow 10 mpg death machine.
female chorus:               (Whoa that’s plaid!)
voiceover:                And you think we flip you the bird because of envy.
male lead vocal:               (are you hiiiigh!)
voiceover:       So crack open a Bud Light Mr. hummer man, because even though you spent
$60K for a tank that gets blown off the road by a Kia, you know that you can
at least drive over top of them.
male lead vocal:               (Mr. gas guzzling big ass hummer driver)

*apologies to the Anheuser-Busch Brewing Company

3:45:04 PM      Throw Me A Bone []

Makes Me Want To Sing.....
What a beautiful day it is, nice and warm, not a cloud in the clear blue sky. The magnolia and cherry trees are blooming and daffodils are everywhere. Ouzo and I had a great walk, everything seems perfect, almost too perfect. Hmmmm, better check.  Yep, still a cynical bastard. Scared myself for a minute. "SNEEZE", now where's the damn Claritin?

12:16:03 PM      Throw Me A Bone []