Thursday, July 07, 2005

REAL MEN OF GENIUS  voiceover:                Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius male lead vocal:               (Real Men of Genius) voiceover:                Today we salute you Mr. Mettalica Tribute Band Guy. male lead vocal:               (Mr. Mettalica Tribute Band Guy) voiceover:                Most people would pick a good band, like the Rolling Stones, for a tribute. female chorus:                  (Brown Sugar) voiceover:                But no, you had to go for really lame and loud,  possibly to cover up for an extreme lack of ability. female chorus:                  (shit, I’m deaf!!) voiceover:                So put on that leather jumpsuit even though it’s 90 degrees out and you’re standing under 150 watt spots. male lead vocal:                (sweatin’ my cubes off) voiceover:                You’ve got the mullets and tribal tattoos to almost pull it off. female chorus:                  (That’s some hair) voiceover:                So crack open a Bud Light Mr. Mettalica Tribute Band Guy, because even though your amp goes up to eleven, your talent only goes to two. male lead vocal:               (Mr. Incredibly loud Mettalica Tribute Band Guy)  *apologies to the Anheuser-Busch Brewing Company 7:22:25 AM    Throw Me A Bone []

	Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Hi, my name is Mike and I don't like clowns.  I am convinced that if you put a lot of clowns together it can only lead to trouble.  Look at the White House for instance, but I digress.  I mean clowns are evil.  How can you put so many of them in one of those little cars if they didn't possess strange powers.  I don't trust them.  I think they want to take over the world (again, see the White House).  They must be stopped.  STAMP OUT CLOWNS!                       11:42:15 PM    Throw Me A Bone []

	Friday, June 10, 2005

Are you surrounded by annoying people?  I know I am, hell I live in DC.  Sometimes you've got to tell them how you feel, but in a nice way.  Thank god for "The Happy Bunny"!                  The fact that there are wacked people like this in the world just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside! 8:09:35 PM    Throw Me A Bone []

	Friday, June 03, 2005

It's Friday so let's get stupid..........  Useless content is good content. Great street signs ... whether they're real or not (those crazy Canadians).   And would somebody get this guy (?) off of my TV!  I like to think I'm open minded but this guy (?) just totally oogs me out! I think Frank Zappa wrote a song about this - "I am the slime from your video, moving around on your living room floor". John Prine said it best - "Throw out your TV.."  If it wasn't for "The Sopranos" I might consider it! If it's Friday there must be quizzes!  Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you? You are Pedro Sanchez and love holy chips. Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you? brought to you by Quizilla   What kind of Sixties Person are you? You are a Folkie. Good for you. What kind of Sixties Person are you? brought to you by Quizilla 6:19:42 PM    Throw Me A Bone []

	Thursday, June 02, 2005

I give myself an award! MYSTERY CARROT AWARD for website adequacy 11:53:03 PM    Throw Me A Bone []

	Friday, May 13, 2005

Don't know why ..... Just woke up feelin' kinda evil today.  I blame bush, but then I always blame bush. 7:49:33 AM    Throw Me A Bone []

	Thursday, May 05, 2005

Based on what you've read here so far what kind of car do you think I drive? 1.  Honda Accord 2.  BMW 325i 3.  Subaru Outback 4.  Saab 900 5.  Acura Integra 6.  VW Passat 8:57:05 PM    Throw Me A Bone []

	Saturday, April 30, 2005

Emo redux ...... Remember the comedian Emo Phillips?  My friend Bill brought him up and so I'm looking for good Emo quotes.  Got any? "Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps." "Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash." "...and always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said "A truck!" 9:37:52 PM    Throw Me A Bone []

	Friday, April 29, 2005

emo .... Thanks to Snidge I now have a clue to what emo is and what it is is not me.  I apparently am the antithesis of emo.  I do wear an earring but my earring of choice is so not emo.  That's about as close as I get.  Everyone you've ever seen working at Tower Records looks emo, multiple piercings, multiple earrings , tattoos, black glasses, t-shirts (preferably black) with heavy duty graphics or long ago cartoon characters, gap jeans with the cuffs rolled up, canvas sneakers, etc.  I am completely unfamiliar with the music associated with this style as well.  You name a band associated with emo and I will have never heard of them, except for the Shins.  I used to think I was fairly current culturally but I now realize that I am not even close.  I have negative emo-osity.  There is probably a law against being emo if you're over 30.  Since I am way beyond that I would probably end up in jail or just be considered a complete asshole.  emo people would never want to stand within 10 feet of me for fear that my non-emo vibe would rub off on them making them way less cool and a social pariah to boot, no longer able to set foot in the trendy clubs.  We wouldn't want that to happen. Here are some links Snidge sent for my education.  See if you have any emo in you. Take this quiz first:             quizilla.com/users/bob-a-roo/quizzes/ Here's a kit you can buy:    www.sykospark.net/emo/appearance.html Here's how to dress emo for guys and girls:   www.dobi.nu/emo/ 2:32:46 PM    Throw Me A Bone []

	Thursday, April 28, 2005

Snidge done stuck me! What follows is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you). Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers. Here's that list: If I could be a scientist... If I could be a farmer... If I could be a musician... If I could be a doctor... If I could be a painter... If I could be a gardener... If I could be a missionary... If I could be a chef... If I could be an architect... If I could be a linguist... If I could be a psychologist... If I could be a librarian... If I could be an athlete... If I could be a lawyer... If I could be an innkeeper... If I could be a professor... If I could be a writer... If I could be a backup dancer... If I could be a llama-rider... If I could be a bonnie pirate... If I could be a midget stripper... If I could be a proctologist... If I could be a TV-Chat Show host... If I could be an actor... If I could be a judge... If I could be a Jedi... If I could be a mob boss... If I could be an innkeeper... I'd want to be one at a villa in Tuscany and of course I'd need to have a well rounded knowledge of the area's vineyards. If I could be a musician... I would like to be a Richard Thompson like guitar wizard who writes great songs about bummer subjects. If I could be a Jedi... I would be gettin' medieval on the forces of the Dark Side in DC. If I could be a psychologist... then I wouldn't have to pay for one. If I could be a TV-Chat Show host...I'd only invite Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, and Ann Coulter on and I'd spend the whole show mocking them with a Bill Maher like wit and not letting them get a word in ever. If I could be a scientist... I'd, oh wait I am a scientist. Batter Up: Birdie because I think I know how she'd answer 2 of them, I could be wrong Nancy because she likes quizzes Katya because she's from Texas 6:30:03 PM    Throw Me A Bone []

© Copyright 2005 Michael Doughten. Last update: 7/7/2005; 7:23:25 AM.