Sunday, May 8, 2005

Name change: $50; SRS (sex reassignment surgery): $10,000; Getting your birth certificate changed: priceless. "The United States law on this issue varies from state to state, since the issuance of birth certificates and the recognition of marriages are largely state matters. Several courts have come to the conclusion that sex reassignments are not to be recognized for the purpose of marriage, including courts in Ohio, Texas and New York. Other courts (including courts in Kansas and New Jersey) have recognized the reassignments. Most U.S. states permit the name and sex to be changed on a birth certificate, either through amending the existing birth certificate or by issuing a new one. But Idaho, Ohio and Tennessee refuse to permit a change of sex, and Florida will not even change the name. California will amend birth certificates only for California natives currently living in California. However, on August 2, 2003, California joined Minnesota, Rhode Island and New Mexico (as well as New York City) in expanding legal protection from discrimination to include gender identity or expression, which may aid transsexuals in future cases in these jurisdictions." Makes me happy and proud that I live in California. You know I just got back from the movies with a friend of mine and was pondering just how much importance I put into ones appearance. Probably more than I should, but for me it is of the most importance. Why I ask you, would you go though a sex change if people could still tell that you were once male? As for me, I would plan on being so damn convincing I could fool my own mother. Well, actually I would be happy to just fool my father and others, my mom notices everything. And then when I think about issues like these I think I could never be convincing and almost give up on it entirely. Lets face it, who in their right mind would ever want to go out with someone like me if I went through a sex change? I dunno. Maybe I just need some endorphins from chocolate. I heard they make you feel better. 7:46:15 PM     comment []

I made my mother a very nice card today for mothers day and I also got her one of my favorite books of all time. I try to give gifts that really mean something, especially if the person receiving the gift has been of the utmost help to me. So I suppose that I would just like to take this minute to give a nice word out to my mother. Without her, well... I mean I suppose that I never would have been born, but what I am trying to say is that my mother has been there with me at every turn and I love her sooooo much for it. I love you Mom! 10:35:25 AM     comment []

You just don't get it, do you? I must have told a total of ten (10) people that I am considering becoming a transsexual, and I was stunned at each ones reaction. The reaction was one of mild surprise, but no concern, or empathy. Their reactions are akin to me saying: "I'm gay but I prefer straight women". No one cares because nothing is apparently at risk; your reputation and your life are safe. But when you are questioning your sexual identity such as myself, you realize that people like you are killed because of who you are. I realize that there are gay hate crimes committed on practically a daily basis, but it regretfully overshadows the fear, and discrimination that a much smaller group faces in a more dangerous way. To often have I been pulled aside to have comments such as: "you fucking fag, you're nuthin but a damn little pansy". It's really not fun, and yes words do hurt, even when you don't know why the idiot pulled you aside to say them to you. You ask yourself what you ever did to him and you come up blank. It just scares me to know that in comparison by numbers of the sizes of groups, transgender people are killed way to often. As far as I am concerned, once is too often. I like life and I intend to keep on living it. I swear I would never coax you into having sex with me; I can't even have sex now I'm too scared to have it. To let you in on a little secret I became queasy every time I became physical with my last girlfriend; I mean that I got sick to my stomach and would almost throw up. She was nice in my book to stay with me during that (I would keep it on the down low though, that I became sick I mean- she never really found out about it). If I keep my distance from you and would never do anything under false pretences, why am I, and people like me hated for what we are? 8:04:21 AM     comment []