December 27, 2004 | Waikiki, Hawaii -- The
most powerful earthquake in 40 years struck off the coast of Indonesia,
triggering killer tidal throughout coastal regions of the Indian Ocean.
What exactly are "killer tsunamis"?
According to Wikipedia, tsunami comes from the Japanese word ??, meaning "harbor wave" (elbow-elbow, wrist-wrist, middle-finger).1
A tsunami is a series of deep water ocean waves that can occur after
significant seismological activity in or near the ocean, such as:
earthquakes; volcanic activity; impacts from comets, meteorites, and
Russian satellites; landslides; fjord avalanches ("fjord-spløshen"),
self-destructing undersea supervillain lairs; and unusually large whale
orgies.
It's difficult to comprehend the magnitude of this disaster. Could you put this into everyday perspective?
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Map highlights regions affected by the tsunamis
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The
death toll continues to rise daily. At the time this article was being
written, the estimates of the number of lives lost are surpassing
150,000.
According to Undersecretary-General Jan Egeland stated
"we may only know the full effects of this tremendous emergency in
weeks from now," noting that "more and more disasters" are being
uncovered as rescue officials reach new places.2
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Map highlights regions not
affected by the tsunamis. Antarctica (not shown here) was also not
affected. However emperor penguins were reported to be 'less frolicky'
than usual.
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But
to put things in perspective, 100,000 lives constitutes a mere 0.0015%
of the earth's estimated population of 6.4 billion people (source: United Nations Population Fund) or just 1 in 6 cars that pass daily through the Los Angeles 405 freeway
between the 101 and I-10.3
In other
words, still not enough to improve your commute
time.
Could this happen where I live?
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The giant killer tsunami
will sweep inland for miles until it reaches your
neighborhood. Repent before it's too late.
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The question isn't if a giant killer tsunami will strike where you live, but when4, according
to Burt Dinsdale of the disaster research center at the University
College of West Swindon. "It's a common misperception that the threat
from tsunamis is limited to coastal regions," said Dinsdale.
"Ocean
originating tsunamis are not the only threat. Giant killer walls of
water can also unexpectedly strike near lakes, rivers, flood plains,
mountains, or really any place where it rains or horny whales
congregate. Tsunamis can travel far inland, like runaway freight trains
of doom packed with evil hobos. Remember, they killed off all the
dinosaurs - the swimming and flying ones, too, not just the
stubby-armed T-Rex. They would have destroyed humanity itself, had it
not been for Noah and his arc. Tsunamis, that is, not evil
hobos."
Why do disasters like this happen?
According
to Marine Biologist Joseph Martin of the Bob Jones University, tsunamis
happen for the same reason most bad things happen "liberals cheesed-off
God."
Shlomo Amar, Israel's Sephardi chief rabbi said, "This is an
expression of God's great ire with the world. The world is being
punished for wrongdoing." 5 "It's
no coincidence", says Amar, "that none of the victims were
Jews."
American Christian fundamentalist blogger Bill Koenig writes that
"the Biblical proportions of this disaster become clearly apparent upon
reports of miraculous Christian survival." 6
Koenig cites the example of former German Chancellor Helmut Kohl who
was vacationing in Sri Lanka. "The straw-thatched huts that line Sri
Lanka's coastline disintegrated in the wrathful waters of divine
vengeance."
"Yet" Koenig writes "miraculously the waters spared the former head of the Christian Democratic
Party, leaving him safe and unharmed in his penthouse suite at a local
five star resort spa. God be praised." (emphasis by Koenig)
Shortly after the tsunami struck, eyewitnesses reported that Kohl was lifted up into the sky and spirited away to safety.7
"It was nothing short of a miracle," said one eyewitness "that the
government would divert a helicopter from much needed search and rescue
operations to transport one white man and a Swedish masseuse to safety.
I may not have my family, food, or medicine - but at least I have the
consolation of knowing that a white man's vacation was not completely
ruined."
Confronted
with the inescapable fact that Westerners were killed, Koenig writes "I
have every confidence that the few Westerners killed by the tsunami
were either directly or indirectly involved in the drug trade, sex
tourism, paganism, liberalism, pedophilia, or Catholicism. Not to be
redundant."
Is it wrong to bet on the final death toll?
Yes.
Very wrong. The under-over bet has been out of the money since
Tuesday.
Will anything good come this disaster?
