Dinosaurs in EdenThis
article from the Guardian will teach you a few things.
- The T-Rex was actually a docile
vegetarian
(that would explain the small
arms) - Some dinosaurs survived until the last ice
age (these
dinosaurs were either
run over by speeding glaciers* or hunted to
extinction by super-kickass
cavemen). - Most dinosaurs drowned in the Great
Flood
(including thousands of
sinful, ocean dwelling species of dinosaurs.
It was, after all, a lot more
water than they were used
to).
- Noah saved some dinosaurs. (Unfortunately the first few
dinosaurs
aboard the Arc ate the unicorns. Noah was so upset -- unicorns
taste
even better than pigs -- that he converted the unfilled dinosaur
cages
into shuffleboard decks and squash courts. Noah told the sad
collection of dinosaurs treading water outside the Arc to 'wait there'
as
he 'had to make two trips'. Noah lied. The rudder had been removed
to make
deck chairs. To this day, Noah's betrayal of the dinosaurs
remains such a
sore subject with paleontologists that most simply
refuse to acknowledge
Noah's name in connection with
dinosaurs). - Bush says "the jury is still out on
evolution."
(If the Scopes jury hasn't returned from deliberation yet,
my guess is
that they starved to death 80 years ago. Some
fundamentalist christians
aren't sure about gravity, either. They
think it might just be a
conspiracy by Jews to get you to drop your
change)
If you can
get people to believe there were dinosaurs on Noah's Arc, you can get
them to believe pretty much anything, e.g. Saddam was behind 9/11, we
found the WMDs, voting machines operated by Bush allies don't need
paper trails, Social Security is in crisis, and so on, ad
infinitum.
The upside is
that the Religious Right still has a way to go before they can start
pushing the Aristotelian ideals of a geocentric universe where
the skies are made of solid, concentric crystalline spheres moving
under the
power of angels. If you ever hear Rush or Hannity disparage Galileo,
the
apocalypse is nigh.
10:50:42 AM
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